Indifferent.

Woof.

2005-12-01T10:21:00.000Z

Listening to Peter Pan - Tak Bisakah.

Its. freezing. cold. It snowed two days ago, and it wasn't even the middle of winter yet. I hate the cold. £%$&*^%.

Anyway, tag replies.

Adhilles - Hehe yeah, i was kinda in a hurry. But i think i've fixed the bits that needed tooling. Thanks for the info my man =)

Phoenixlancer - Haha noo laaa, only if you were driving a 3 ton truck would your tires go into the sand. It was my first day back in Brunei during last summer, i had to go to the beach =)

Fina - Heh, why not. I'll be around =)

kh85 - Ehh bah sila sila, buat macam rumah sendiri saja hehe. Oits K apa ada, ada ku melink ko tu nanti eh? Cana bos? Haha =p

Check out these pics.

Sa-noooo =p (trying a Lish-ism here =P)

Look at all that snowy stuff coming down. Good thing it didn't settle, 'cause if it did then i'd have to get me a shovel. 'The Day After Tommorow' scenario, anyone?

Hehe. I could actually hear UK readers going 'gasp!'.

Well, what have i been up to? Nothing much really, been busy with my multiple-essay-deadlines. Thank God that i only have three more essays to write and trust me, three is a paltry number compared to all the other crap that i've been wading through.

Third year's a biatch.

Tommorow the wife's jetting off to Dubai for a weekend, and i'm green with envy. Warmth, beaches, waving palm trees, cheap stuff, not a hint of frozen water coming down for miles around, my Missy, what more would i need? Damned stupid expensive plane tickets. $%£&%$.

Well, at least i have some fun things to do this weekend, rather than just slogging my way through work-related crap. On the Saturday me and assorted UK people are renting a coach to go to Cheshire Oaks, this shopping outlet where they say stuff is dirt cheap (well, as cheap as you can get stuff in the UK). Since i have a huge problem trying to keep my hands away from my wallet when going to these sorts of places, i don't know whether this is a blessing or a curse heh heh. I do think i haven't got that much spending power at the moment, so i think i'm just going to... try... not spending too much.

On the Sunday, BruManch is going to Nottingham, in response to a challenge issued by BruNotts to have an 11-a-side football match. It has been quite a while (well, last summer actually, so it wasn't quite a while. It just FEELS that way =p) since i've played 11-a-side, so i'm looking forward to it.

However, i'm not going to issue any predictions, gripes or anything to the sort prior to the match (though i do have them, of course), we'll just see what happens during the match. But i WILL say this though:

'It doesn't look like a 'BruManch vs. BruNotts' game, more like a 'BruManch vs. The Rest of UK' game.'

Anyone who's familiar with football would get what i mean. But then, as me and my brothers like to say, 'bula atu bulat' ('the ball is round').

Anything can happen, and anything probably WILL happen.

I'll post up the results after the match.

Seven, out.

A little something something...

2005-11-10T13:19:00.000Z

And all you see is heartbreak,
wherever it is you turn,
and all you see is heartbreak,
when will you wake up & learn.
And all you feel is sorrow,
perhaps its all about you.
And all you see is heartbreak,
what's wrong is that it's you.

And all you see is heartbreak,
crying your way thru the night.
And all you see is heartbreak,
wishing with all your might.
And all you see are disappointments,
those who've let you down.
And all you see is heartbreak,
your selfishness going around.

And all you see is heartbreak,
with this one and another,
and all you see is heartbreak,
its not them, its whoever.
And all you see is bitterness,
they all don't understand.
And all you see is heartbreak,
you don't see past your demands.

And all you see is heartbreak,
when will you wake up and see,
that all of your heartbreaks,
Is all the faults of the she.
When you see past your heartbreaks,
you will understand.
That the source of your heartbreaks,
is no fault of the man.

Just a little something i came up with.

Seven, out.

And They Say...

2005-10-31T20:15:00.000Z

Listening to King - Maybe.

'Maybe its wrong to say you love me too,
cause i know you'll never do.
Somebody else is waiting there inside for you.

Maybe its wrong to love you more each day,
cause i know he's here to stay.
But i know to whom, you should belong.'

Sad stuff, really. I remember those times.

Tag replies:

baby : Haha. Methinks that you probably WILL get distracted. I know i would, but that's just me =p

CrAdLe : Haha what up boss. Nothing much sini, but we miss your presence =)

phoenixlancer : PL, we ARE old. Our inner child just refuses to let us believe that. =p

Zephyr : Ah, understood. Well, there's always next time =) And i'll wait for your webbie to get fixed up, aights? =)

atul5353 - Sorry, sorry. Been busy =P Well here i am =)

Ramadhan away from home always gets me down. Its family time, or have i said that before?

*checks past posts*

Yep, i have.

Final year sucks big time. I have 20,000 words worth of essays to do just this semester alone. And people are expecting me to my Masters straight away?

I don't think so. At least, not right now. Maybe some other time, or not.

Somehow, this year is zipping by quite quickly. Maybe its the workload, maybe its the final year, maybe nothing. If it could go any faster, i'll pump the speed up to the limit.

Who knows how to put songs on a blog? I've been surfing around, but i haven't found one yet. Hit me back if anyone knows.

In Seria, there's this 24 hour food place called Zuki's. Man how i miss that place. I used to go there at all hours to get me a bite of their Kolo Mee, which is divine, to say the least. Funny how you think about the things you can't get, and how you yearn for it even though you know you can't possibly get it.

Which brings me to a point.

I know of someone (let's just say a friend, i'll call him/her Pushy) who's a bit unlucky when it comes to the opposite sex. S/he isn't a bad looker, but the trouble is Pushy goes for people who're either totally out of his/her league, or the type of women/men who're relatively 'easy'. Or to put a none too fine a point on it, potential cheaters.

Trouble is, i doubt whether Pushy even knows what it is s/he's looking for. What i've been able to garner from his/her previous choices, looks and hotness are the only factor that Pushy will consider. Which leads him/her into trouble, as Pushy's not really that much of a catch for the opposite sex, at least in my opinion.

Let's just say there are certain points of his/her personality that rankles quite a bit.

Believe me, i'm not alone when i say this, i've shared my observations with a few of our mutual friends, and they ALL agree with me. Which doesn't say much for Pushy. S/he's just a bit too much to handle. Plus, s/he can get a bit too pushy, which is never a good thing.

Why do you think i nicknamed him/her 'Pushy'?

Currently, Pushy has his/her eyes set on a fine species of the opposite sex. I'll call the target Peace. The thing is, Peace has just got out of a very bad episode, and is currently looking for peace (now you get it) in order to set things straight instead of going on the rebound. I don't know about you people, but i believe that at least this person's wish for peace should be respected, and potential suitors should just back up and give some space to breathe.

But guess what this friend of mine does. Exactly.

Now, to be fair, Peace hasn't voiced out his/her wishes to be left alone. But then again, the methods used by Pushy to gain affection doesn't really endear him/her to Peace, in fact it downright freaks Peace out. When Peace told me of the things that Pushy is doing, i myself very nearly went into fits.

Let's just say they're really wrong, in poor taste and very sad.

Granted, Peace should have told Pushy to back off, and i said as much to Peace. But Peace is a good person, and doesn't have the heart to smacketh the hammer down on Pushy's ass. I guess Peace's afraid that Pushy might go into suicide mode. I don't have that concern, but Peace has qualms about that sort of thing.

Now i think everything's settled, and Peace is looking towards the horizon, i.e. trying his/her best to move forward and leave his/her troubles behind. Pushy on the other hand has gone into moody mode. You know, the leave-me-alone-i'm-being-angsty attitude. But Pushy'll snap out of it, at least i hope so. S/he's not going to go anywhere with Peace, Peace assured me of this. True to my speculations, Peace doesn't look at Pushy quite in the same light as Pushy does at Peace.

Now, let me ask you something. Was Pushy in the wrong for going after Peace in Peace's time of mourning, or was Peace wrong for not laying down the groundworks for refusal firmly enough? Or at least in absolute terms so that a person like Pushy might understand?

Well, i believe in the former myself. Come on, anyone with half a brain can figure out how much sorrow Peace is in. Leave the poor guy/girl alone for a while godammit, s/he at least deserves a moment to figure things out. There is justification for moral support, but in the form of another relationship? Plus going at it in a decidedly very unproper manner?

Tacky, very tacky.

If Pushy just took a step back and look at things from a more clearer view, instead of going after the goal with all the thinking power of a single brain cell, s/he'll realise that now's NOT A GOOD TIME. It's a good thing that Peace is quite the pacifist, i could think of so many reasons to bite Pushy's head off. In addition to that, what Pushy doesn't realise is that Peace, to use a British term of phrase, doesn't fancy him/her.

I don't know if you people out there understand a word that i'm writing here. But take my word for it, this situation was really bad. It's a good thing nothing became out of it. 'Cause seriously, Pushy was headed for a lot of trouble.

So, going back to what i said previously, why do we covet the things that we cannot have?

Let me rephrase that.

Why do we covet the things that we know, deep down inside though we try our hardest to ignore it, we cannot have?

Is it an inherent human trait? Do we love to beat ourselves over the head with the unattainable that we can't slow down for a second and spare ourselves the pain? Or can it be interpreted using the quintissential human emotion, hope?

Maybe that's how we got to where we are today, in dreaming of things impossible we are able to strive towards the stars. But that's a wholely different cup of tea. I'm talking about basic human communication and questions of relationships.

Are we creatures of sense, or does the heart truly rule the head?

Maybe, just maybe...

We're just pushy.

Seven, out.

Lost : 1 Identity.

2005-10-08T22:36:00.000+01:00

Listening to Coldplay - Fix You.

Anyone heard this song yet? One of the saddest songs i've ever heard. Seven stars recommendation, go out and buy the CD.

Hey everyone, i think everything's settled down a bit for me to have some time and write a post up. But before that, tag replies.

Huntress - Yeah, i really hope so. I don't feel like doing a Masters, at least not straight away. But then i've had enough of the UK, so maybe i'll just haul ass after i get my degree. Good luck to you too =)

Baby - Yeah yeah i'm back =p i'm doing good here, but i'm missing your sister =p i'm sorry i didn't send you off, but you know where i was. Good luck to you too over there, do some good for your A's okay? =)

atul5353 - Haha. Have fun reading =)

Zephyr - Wei, whatever happened to you after the 'pengilan'? You just dropped off the face of the earth.

PhoenixLancer - Have to agree with you. I shudder to think of the influence that she holds over the heads of the impressionable female teenagers all around the world. A platoon of Paris? I'd rather shoot myself.

Well, what have i been doing as of late? Well, aside from hauling ass to the Uni every single day, I'm now the official photographer for the Bruneian Society in Manchester, or BruManch for short. That means i run around on my two little feet, trying to capture moments from the infantile years of this society. It is the pilot year, we're all still new at this. Hopefully everything'll run as smooth as silk.

Another year at Uni, new things to do, more lectures to slog through, coursework aplenty, things are just dandy.

Sarcasm, sarcasm.

I guess i only have one more year of this, so i'll count my blessings and shut up about Uni.

What else have i've been doing? Nothing much. Everything's the same as its always been, Manchester's rainy, emotions running high among the Bruneians here (a lot of crap has been going on as of late), and i'm still here, sitting down and watching people go by with their lives, trying to juggle an endlessly changing pattern of existence while keeping their sanity at the same time.

I always said that you've got to learn to laugh at yourself, or you'll end up crying for the rest of your lives.

One thing of note that i think i'll share here is this : Why is it that the general population tends to think that the higher you go in your education, the better you are(as a person)? In my way of thinking, education is a means to the end, not the means itself. Yes, some people say that the better educated you are, the more knowledgable and better equipped you are in order to get through life.

But come on, how many people do you know who really sticks to that saying? How many people turned out to become complete asses when they finished their degree, Masters or whatever, particularly those with overseas qualifications?

A whole lot of them, i would say.

I myself don't believe in that hyper-elitist crap. The smartest people i know, those with the best outlook on life, those who're living their lives with joy are those back home, supposedly ''languishing'' in vocational education institutes, or other avenues of education.

Education is a part of life, that i do believe. But what i heartily disagree with is the idea that the only 'real' type of education is that which comes from textbooks. Whatever happened to real-life education? The knowledge you acquire from actually going out into the world and experiencing life for yourselves?

Life has always been multi-faceted, there's always different ways, a multitude of directions you can take in order to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. Our lives now are overburdened with advancements, that we're forgetting that which we've already learned for ourselves and passed down the generations.

Who knows what cures for diseases we've forgotten which our granny told us one idle day in the sun, while we were too busy texting on the phone with a friend, talking about inane subjects? The roots and shoots of plants that has medicinal qualities and benefits, that your Grandpapa pointed out to you, when you were too busy wiping your forehead of sweat and moaning about how tiring this walk through the woods is?

You'll say ''Oh come on Seven, nobody does that anymore.''

That, ladies and gentlemen, is exactly my point.

In my most humble opinion, i think we're forgetting ourselves. We've forgotten how it is to live, to experience life's miracles without resorting to the wonders of electronica. Children nowadays have no idea of the games that WE (those in my age range and before) used to play, when money was not really needed, when we could find or make our own entertainments. Their parents never bothered to teach them these invaluable skills, rather enveloping them in a cocoon of wealth, mainstream education and high-end technology.

I find it sad to say that this phenomenon of loss of cultural identity doesn't confine itself to children alone. I've met quite a few people in my own age range who often have no idea what i'm talking about when i'm reminiscing about the games of old.

Ask the closest 10-12 year old to you, do they know how to fish? Not using rods and reels, but using a hugeass net which extends seawards for hundreds of metres, with only yourself and another dragging it along. Do they know how to make a kite? Where to find the proper type of bamboo to make one? How to battle in the skies with another kite? Have they ever experienced the pleasures of chasing after a downed kite, running alongside your friends with blantant disregard for your own body, but with exhilaration in your hearts?

Ask them, do they know how to play 'congkak'? 'Main pulis'? 'Kaki tiga'? 'Main carah'?

Any of those terms familiar to you guys? Hopefully so.

The children are the first sign that a people has forgotten their roots. They've forgotten those age-old lessons that has sustained generations upon generations of Bruneians. Education is an excuse to forget ways that are just simply too hard to do. As a consequence, we've fallen back on a standard practice of 'advancement', in order to 'catch up with the rest of the world'.

But at what cost to our souls?

Now its all about the bling. All about the Benz. All about the money you're pilling up in your big, fat bank accounts.

How do you get all this? Diploma-style education.

Change is irrevocable. We can't turn back the clock, we can't change what's been done. The old ways are gradually being forgotten for modern, efficient and emotionless thinking. You don't have a degree, you can't work here. No qualification, no job. Money buys happiness baby, get on the wagon and just ride along.

Me, i don't care what you have on your CV. As far as i'm concerned, your formal education has nothing to do with yourself as a whole, it only constitutes a small part of who you really are. I won't judge you by how much you know about a particular subject, or how high your IQ is, or how well you can speak a foreign language.

If you can fly a kite, then you're halfway there. 'Cause you'd know the value of freedom.

Seven, out.

Tired and Retarded.

2005-09-14T21:02:00.000+01:00

Listening to Peter Pan - Di Belakangku.

First off, tag replies.

atul5353 - Well, i'm back in the UK. I haven't got my Internet connection up and running though, so i guess regular updates is still not possible at the moment =p ah well, patience.

lorong chow kit - You're the *****. Grow a pair and say something right to my face, why doncha. A-hole.

Well, i'm in a very bad mood. I have since returned to Manchester for another year of arranged anarchy. I don't feel like doing anything constructive. But i do feel like writing.

What should i write about? Hmm, tough question. Should i tell you about the 18 odd hours of flight, with bawling children and brawling adults hounding me all throughout the airtime? Or the mess i got into in sorting out my connecting flight details, where the relevant officials screwed up royally, but refused to take any sort of responsibility? Or the sordid details of a friend's relationship, or the times of fun and of trouble during my summer holidays?

Naah.

I think i'll just write something meaningfully meaningless.

One day during last summer, i went to watch a movie with a couple of my friends, in a prominent movie-watching establishment (no, not THAT one). As we were waiting to get in, my friends met a couple of their 'friends', to use the term rather loosely. One was this girl whom had a serious case of the 'Paris Hilton' syndrome, or as we like to call it, PHS. Simply put, PHS is the tendency of a female human to adopt 'Paris Hilton-like' mannerisms in her daily speech. Phrases like 'he's hawt', 'ohmygawdohmygawdohmygawd' and other similar forms constitute over 98% of her entire linguistic capability (and believe me, we counted).

Now, its really not that big a deal. I don't care even if she walks around town wearing nothing but two handkerchiefs and a prayer (but that would not be a pretty sight, believe me). Thing is, i wonder. Why the strong influence? What does adapting an alien (and mostly incomprehensible) speech style add to your sense of self-awareness? Does it involve prestige? The all-important rep?

Ah well.

Seven, out.

Fun in the Sun

2005-07-24T10:30:00.000+01:00

Listening to some obscure Chinese song.

Dang, i forgot to mention something. I wouldn't be posting so much when i'm back home in Bru-Land. Ya see, i don't have an Internet connection at home (except for the very lame 33.6 KB connection which i simply REFUSE to use) so if i want to go online, i'd have to go to KB town. Needless to say, i'd rather sleep.

Lame excuses aside, hello everyone. Sorry for my extended leave, i've been too busy relaxing, slacking off and crashing things since i got back. Too busy to even update my blog it seems. Well i don't care, i'm having too much of a good time. Cruising with the B.I.As, chilling with my Missy and Co. (namely her sis Ninety-7 plus significant other) spending time with the family, its all good. Its everything i've been craving ever since January.

Its currently the Perayaan celebrations, celebrating His Highness The Sultan's birthday on the 15th of July. I haven't been going to a lot of the stalls, i've got my nose stuck in CS again. For the less knowledgable, CS means 'Counter-Strike', that online FPS (First Person Shooter) game that had every male and some females in Bru-land hooked. I'm pouring a lot of money into this game, what with buying of CDs, PC equipment and gametime. I better be good, and soon too i might add.

Missy's doing great by the way, if any of y'all are wondering. I'm with her a lot of the time (i have other commitments, else 100% my time = hers) and making her happy is my number 1 priority =D

My family's as good as ever, so too are the cats. Though i do have a 5 cm long scratch on my hand. Let's not bring THAT particular topic up.

The B.I.As? In one form or the other, they're always there. That is always a given, 24/7. Hey, that rhymes.

Okay, let me reply to the various tag replies before i leave this joint.

Zephyr - I can see it just fine, don't worry. And it was nice seeing u in KB the other day =)

atul5353 - Updated, and thanks for the welcome =) and i'll update my links when i get back to the UK, aights? =)

phoenixlancer - I know, i was knocking that tune about in my head when it suddenly turned into that. Catchy, eh? =D

SZmin - Welcome to the blogging world, dude. Don't forget your gloves, and i'll link ya later =)

As for everyone else's pages and blogs which i haven't visited in quite a while, don't worry, i haven't forgotten you guys. I'll be around as soon as i have the time, okay? =)

Have a good time everyone.

Seven, out.

Remember the tune?

2005-06-12T10:09:00.000+01:00

Today's my flight to London, and tommorow's my flight to Brunei =D

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

I'm coming home,

i'm coming home,

i'm coming,

SeVen's coming home.

See you back home everyone, i'm outta here.

Well, for a while, that is. I'll be back.

SevenStars, out.

Thankfulness.

2005-06-10T23:37:00.000+01:00

Listening to Switchfoot - Dare You To Move.

I'm free. I've finished my exams. I'm tired. I need some rest.

Tag replies :

Kil - Uhh, what's column 7? But thanks anyway =)

GtConcept - 13th June ku balik boss... 14th adatah muaku tu di Brunei, tunggu saja. Hehe.

Good Vs. Evil - baca reply atas oi, 14th aku sampai Brunei. I'll drop you an email bila aku settle dah aights? See you in Brunei =)

Kit - Sorry sis, i know i haven't been going around the blogs for quite a while, but its busy-ness all the way for me. I'll drop in when i have the chance, aights? And thanks for the kind words on me and Missy, i'll make sure to stay that way with her too =D Congratulations on your engagement, many happy returns of the day for you (forgive the tardiness, though.. =) and Althie =D

PhoenixLancer - We know. Haha =p

DingY - Heya, i know you've moved, i'll update my links one of these days =p And thanks =)

w - Haha, you're right. Just a typo, i would think. And yeah, Eddy from Tekken uses Capoeira as his fighting style. Pretty cool, i must say =)

Umaira - Actually, i found out about the song from going to your site. So i have you to thank for introducing me to Damien Rice =)

So, what should i do? Write up a summary of the 2004-2005 academic year? Post up some of my thoughts on the happenings of the world in that time period?

Nah. I think i'll write about the things that i'm thankful about. Sometimes, we forget the things that makes us who we are, the quiet and not-so-quiet influences that shapes our personalities and contributes to the overall consciousness that is ourselves. Simply put, the people who, by being themselves and being who they are, have had an impact on our lives and ourselves.

What things have i to be thankful about? Let me list them down.

Of these things, I am thankful...

1. The fact that i am in love with the most wonderful lady who has ever been in this world.
2. The wonderful family that i have back home.
3. My brothers who're always behind me.
4. My friends both old and new, visible or otherwise, you guys are my fountains of knowledge and youth.
5. Surviving another year in the UK without going absolutely crazy.
6. My enemies.

Number 6 might strike the reader as being a bit strange. But i am thankful for it all the same. Without my enemies i would never be who i am. Far be it from me to believe in the goody-goody two shoes version of life. Life is a series of messy and often unexplicable moments, and each moment would have an impact equal to that of another moment.

So my friends, brothers, family and loved one taught me how to love, how to be at peace with myself, how to best appreciate the existence of my life with them as company.

My enemies, they've taught me how to be strong. How to believe in myself in the face of their adversity. They've taught me that life is not as idyllic as it seems at times, you have to be constantly on your toes in order to survive.

Now, enemies as i term it does not have to be of the human type, though there are such things. I'm sure its the same for a lot of people. It could include laziness, the need to engage in illegal activities, a lot of things.

Those two on the list(number 1 & 6) are the biggest influences in my life. What are yours?

SeVenStaRs, out.

Just on a whim...

2005-05-17T01:11:00.000+01:00

Listening to Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter.

I know i said i wasn't going to be posting anytime soon, but i feel like blogging.

I cannot believe it took me 2 years to get to listen to this song. Hell, I never did watch 'Closer' (it was the first and last song to play in that movie) so i passed this gem of a song. This song is genious, it's unbelievable. My suggestion to you guys is, get all of the songs from Damien Rice's album, 'O'. I give this album 7 stars, the highest accolade i could ever give anything.

I know, i know, i'm late in praising my hat off to the brilliance that is Damien Rice (2 years late, actually), but i don't care. All of the songs on 'O' struck a chord with me. The lyrical content of all of the songs displays a certain cynicism, a ton of world-weariness, of a guy who's tired of all the crap that comes along with living, and writes about it without the need for overelaboration. His lyrics are simple, but you could feel the sincerity of the emotions 'O' evokes in the listener.

As far as musical arrangements go, 'O' is a breeze of originality. An example would be the opera singer on 'Eskimo', and the Gregorian chanting on 'Cold Water'. The accompanying vocals of Lisa Hannigan is simply haunting, and the cello, ahh, the cello of Vyvienne Long. I can't even describe how perfect it sounds. For an album which is self-produced and home-recorded, this a surefire knockout punch for me, way outstripping many other singer's/band's million dollar offerings.

Yes, i am now a fan of Irish troubadour Mr. Damien Rice, to the point of near-idolatry. I'm going to start collecting his mugs and T-shirts pretty soon.

Okay, enough of my newfound obsession.

I'm going to post up some random pictures.

This is what happens when exam stress meets boredom, plus the refusal of the brain to accept any more info. I tend to write/draw/scratch stuff on whatever surface that's convenient.

This is my new Onfire Camo bag, got it for cheap. But i think it looks mighty fine. Not too much space though, but a lot of pockets!

Now, some random pics i snapped up at Uni.

Capoeira being performed right on the sidewalk. Capoeira's a Brazilian martial arts by the way, like Eddy from Tekken.

In a building where 'No Smoking' signs are everywhere. They even provided ashtrays. Go figure.

A tree outside my faculty's building. Pretty, no? Reminds me of the Japanese 'Sakura' tree.

Now, some pics i snapped at eateries.

Hmm. Newspaper with article on a murder which happened in a McD's, in a McD's. Curious.

Poor fries. Ah well, down the hatch you go *gulp*.

You know what people do in the spring & summer time? They have barbeques!

Thin strips of meat marinaded in a sauce made of honey, garlic, chilli and other tasty spices, barbequed. Yum.

Well, that's it from me. I'll be back when i can.

Sevenstars, out.

Quickly, now.

2005-05-12T10:32:00.000+01:00

Listening to John Cena & Tha Trademarc Feat. Bumpy Knuckles - Bad Bad Man.

I got this off PhoenixLancer's site. I think it describes me well, except for that 'stylish and alluring' bit, i think. Also, i do think the first point's the wrong way around. At least, i think so =P

Oh and by the way, i won't be updating much from this point, its the exam season and i'm absurdly busy. Will update as soon as my schedule gets a bit 'calmer'. Wish me luck, yes? =)

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

And by the way, good luck to those having their exams and stuff. Bring it home, people =)

SevenStars, out.

Remember, RIGHT shoulder.

2005-05-01T20:44:00.000+01:00

Listening to Seal - Kiss From A Rose (piano instumental)

Ahh, this song is nice. I wonder what happened to Seal anyway? I like his songs. Oh well.

Comment & tag replies -

atul5353 - i know. =)

Phoenix Lancer - Nah, i know a couple of people who had it smooth. But thanks =)

zephyr - I did?? Well, here's a happy belated birthday to you =)

Yas - Thanks =) i do try to write well. Keep tagging yes?

Anonymous Commenters - Thanks, and i'll make sure it lasts too =)

I went to the gym today with a couple of friends. Well, five to be exact. After a couple of hours of weight-lifting, plus a football session shortly afterwards, i'm bushed. But it feels good though, i'm still riding the highs of exercise-induced endorphin rush. I'm thinking of how good i'd look with a body akin to that guy from Two Guys and A Girl, you know, the one in Blade 3? More recently in The Amityville Horror? Damn, i envy his build. I wonder how long it took for him to get a bod like that?

Speaking of The Amityville Horror, i watched it last night.

Man, that is one *scary* movie. I was cursing my head off throughout the movie. I swear the triple-damned ghosties in that movie must have one hell of a grudge. That movie is not for the weak of heart. I do give it two thumbs up though, you guys out there should definitely watch it.

In the middle of the day, with a dozen friends around you. Sleep the night with them, as well. Just some advice for your peace of mind. Ha.

Speaking of ghosties though, i do have some experience with them. I went through my time of youth with the assuredness of the young immortal. As a consequence, those times were littered with many a story of youthful male stupidity. We(i.e. me and my B.i.As) went to places where even angels fear to tread, as the saying goes.

One of the things which we did back then were what's known as 'ghost hunting'. You guys know the drill, a group of friends in even numbers(this is VERY important) exploring through areas known for their state of, shall we say, 'unrest'. In other words, haunted places. And trust me, what we saw during these adventures would definitely convince the hardest of sceptics.

Now myself, i've always known of the presence of otherworldly beings among us. I come from a family line who is familiarly acquainted with beings from the Nether realms. I had my first close encounter with a spectral entity when i was as young as two years old. In layman's terms, i had something enter me without my explicit permission. But not to fear, i had my family behind me, and so i was unharmed during the ordeal.

Unharmed, and yet after that experience, i know i'm NEVER alone.

Now, as a 21 year old with a wealth of experience in these matters, i've developed something which i should never have had in the first place, which is the ability to 'see'. I leave it to your imaginations in deciphering what that means. It is enough to say that it is not a gift that i willingly own.

That's the reason why i don't like horror movies. I have enough things to scare me witless, thank you very much.

I do admit that after a while, it gets to point that i am no longer overly deathly scared (no pun intended). I guess i'm now desensitized to primordial spectral beings floating in and out of my sight. I know that if i keep my respect for them, they won't go out of their way to pester me.

But then again, i do know of the existence of a 'group', for lack of a better word, of beings who were created to scare the living daylights out of you. Now i do know the places these things frequent, and i usually would go way out of my way to avoid these places like they were the plague themselves.

The simplest advice that i could tell you guys is, when you feel something is just not right, for no reason at all, when you guys suddenly feel cold all of a sudden, even in the hottest of places, and when you feel like something is just 'there', then it is my heartiest of suggestions to immediately vacate the premises. Trust your instincts, they're usually right when these things are concerned.

Oh, and another thing? When looking behind your shoulder when you feel 'eyes' upon you, never ever *ever* look behind your LEFT shoulder.

You just might get the surprise of your life.

Sevenstars, out.

The story of Missy and SeVenStaRs.

2005-04-22T21:39:00.000+01:00

Listening to F.i.R. - Wo Men De Ai (Our Love)

I've just got back from playing football, and i've got a bump on my right shin the size of an egg. Now i'm just hobbling about all over the place. Great.

Anyway, the wife's on a vacation to an island resort somewhere in Oman. She says the views are stunning, the food is good and she wishes i was there with her. Like i'm not wishing the same thing too =P

Hmm.. looking back through my past posts, i've never told you readers out there how i and the wife met, and subsequently got together. Since i am in the mood to blog, i'll tell you guys the story, of how one very cynical, pessimistic guy fell head-over-heels in love.

It was summer, during the 'Perayaan' celebrations in KB. Me and my B.I.A. Fadhlan were walking around the stalls, looking for a good place to eat. Since we were in the mood for a bit of seafood, we stopped at this particular 'gerai', 'cause i could smell very tasty seafood cooking in the back(i still remember the number of the 'gerai', number 11 =) So me and my bro parked there, and we ordered some food.

During that day i was in absolutely no mood for the opposite sex; i just got out of a very very bad relationship with the worst of things, a liar. So i wasn't really hyped up when Fadhlan said 'hey, that's Baby'. Now, Baby is my Missy's sister, though i didn't know it at the time. Not wanting to be a spoilsport, i told my bro to call them over, since he was all hyped up on seeing Baby again, after being in a very strange relationship with her two years ago. But that's another story.

So, Fadhlan texted Baby up and asked her if she would join us for a while. After a few moments of anxiety (on Fadhlan's part, not mine), she replied to his text, agreeing. And sure enough, a couple of minutes later there she was, with her sister in tow. After the preliminary linguistic boxing, she agreed to sit down with us for a while.

All this time i stayed quiet, as i am not acquainted with either Baby or Missy at the time. But then i did try to join in the conversation, asking them where they met, how do they (Baby and Fadhlan) know each other. Heh... my devilry was at work here, as i knew the story about those two beforehand, but i pretended not to, so that i could ask some really awkward questions. During the conversation Missy stayed quiet, although she did answer a couple of questions i aimed at her. She is the shy sort, after all. But that only makes her more cuter to me ;)

After a time, the two sisters made their excuses, and left. Fadhlan was all goggle-eyed, i guess the parting he and Baby experienced two years ago was not without some feelings still attached. I was noncommital about the whole thing, as i was still brooding over my own personal breakup.

But the funny thing was, the short conversation i had with Missy at the 'gerai' kept replaying itself in my mind all throughout the night. I kept thinking about the things she said, even though most of them were monosyllabic in nature =P This persisted late into the night, even after me and Fadhlan went home from the 'Perayaan' (he was sleeping over at my place, if i remember correctly).

At home, i asked Fadhlan a couple of things about the two sisters. Straight away Fadhlan raised one eyebrow, and asked me, 'You're interested in Missy, aren't you?'. I guess he knows me better than i know myself. He brushed off my denials with a wave of the hand, and said 'Don't sweat it, i'll get her phone number for you. That is what you want, isn't it?'.

Yes, i am a very big scaredycat when it comes to things like asking someone for their phone number, especially if the person i'm asking is the equivalent of an earthbound angel, if not more beautiful. When i think about it, i am still thanking the heavens for allowing Fadhlan to ask Baby for Missy's number, and to my eternal chagrin (at the time) allow him to give Missy a misscall using my phone. I guess the heavens were forcibly pointing me in the right direction, even though i started the journey with some very big help from my friends.

For all the encouragement i got from my brothers to wake up and move on, and some personal intervention from Fadhlan, i thank you guys =) I owe you all a favour too big to ever repay in kind, but i'll try my best to =)

So, after that misscall, and some very tentative texting on both of our parts, we started going out together. Although these 'dates' were peppered with some very hilarious moments, i got to know Missy pretty well. But then i still remember the first time we went out together, which i will always remember for the very very awkward self-consciousness the both of us felt at the time.

The five of us (me, Fadhlan, Baby, Missy and their older brother, Jerry) went out for lunch at a restaurant in Seria. That was the first time me and Missy went out together after expressing some mutual interest through the texts and the single phonecall (before which i was pacing all over the place, to the annoyance of my brothers who were playing videogames).

During the entire meal, me and Missy didn't exchange a single word, not even a casual 'Hi'. That was how awkward the both of us felt. Fadhlan and Baby were very annoyed at this, i could tell. Fadhlan kept saying, 'Missy, have you met *my name*?'. I felt like beating him over the head with a sharp object. But the both of us remained stubborn in our embarrasment towards each other.

Thinking back, i guess the feelings were starting to emerge for the both of us. I was starting to notice things about her which i never realised beforehand, how she cocks her head whenever someone's addressing her directly, how she poises herself when walking, and in particular how breathtakingly beautiful she is whenever she smiles.

I do think that smile of hers was the ultimate ticket for me; particularly the one she gave me as i was dropping her off outside the gates of her house after the first date. As she was getting out of the car, i just said 'Bye' to her. She turned and gave me the most dazzling, most heart-stopping-soul-aching-knee-shakes-inducing smile i've ever seen in my life. Fadhlan had to shout into my face to wake me up from the sudden reverie that i sunk into.

I still remember what Fadhlan said to me afterwards, 'Boy, you're in love now'. And indeed, i was =)

For every day of the week before i had to return to the UK (this was in August), my relationship with Missy went from strength to strength. I made it a point to text her daily, and if possible to see her during the day before our nightly going out. It seemed to me during this time i was so deliriously happy with myself. I was ecstatic, over the moon, whatever. I finally know how it feels like to be head-over-heels in love with someone. And it is my most humble of opinions that i could not have fallen in love with someone better.

Indeed, she complements me in every single manner possible, and i to her. We both loved the same things, hated the same things, laughed at the same jokes, we were extremely comfortable around each other, all the cliches of relationships that is portrayed in movies. Yep, me and Missy had all of that, but what we had was infinitely better, as it is real.

Once, i was wondering when (if at all possible) i would find someone who will be the source of my happiness, in all things. Now, between bouts of fervent prayers of thanks to God, i'm still wondering what good deed i've done to have Missy in my life. But i'm not questioning anything, as i could not ask for more than what i have now with my Missy =)

That's the story (or at least a condensed form of it) of how the Guy who believed only certain types of people would ever find true love(another different story altogether), fell in love.

Sevenstars, out.

Maybe later.

2005-04-18T14:43:00.000+01:00

Listening to Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti

Its nearing the close of my second year in Uni. Examinations are just around the corner. What have i been doing? Not a whole lot. I need to speed things up a bit.

Here's a little something something that i saw in uni last week.

This guy was sitting on the steps of my faculty building, having a smoke and staring off into the distance. I swear that look in his eyes reminded me of the prophets of old, you know, like that far far away look, when you just know that person is not in at the moment? That's exactly it.

Naturally, i was impressed with his whole 'savior' persona, complete with the prerequisite fashion sense too : a toga-like garment, leather sandals, etc. I was a bit suspicious at this point, i had a distinct feeling this guy wasn't your average student. Also, the fact that he had long blonde hair and blue eyes made me feel ultra-suspicious.

Five minutes later, my assumption was proven right as he started to speak, loudly ; he was one of those cult members of some obscure sect of the church, i didn't catch which one. But apparently, it required its devotees to dress like JC himself. However, i do think the pipe he was smoking came optional to the get-up.

Of course, five minutes after that the ever-present security came and asked the guy nicely to desist in his activities. After all, Mr. Savior *was* talking about spreading love to all mankind, no? And true to form, the guy stopped and moved, most probably to try and find a new vantage point for his activities.

Ah well, i wish him luck. There's not a lot of people who still bothers to preach love, peace and unity, nowadays its more like 'hate thy neighbour'. It doesn't matter that me and him are from different religious beliefs, the message is still more or less the same. Who can hate someone who's asking you to love your neighbour like you love yourself?

*yawn*

Anyway, I'd like to give a shout-out here to my B.I.A. Fadhlan, whose birthday was on the 13th of April. Happy 22nd bro, and i'll see you in the summer =)

Now, what else happened in my life recently which is of worthy note?

Oh yes. I was going to write about this song i heard recently. Anybody heard Michael Buble's (pronounced 'buh-bley') 'Home'? When i first listened to it, i could have sworn it felt like this Buble guy was talking about me. Or better, he was singing about my daily thoughts. 'Home' is my particular anthem at the moment, have a listen. Its a nice, mellow song, good for those nightly cruises around town.

Speaking of which...

Ever since coming here, i have missed a lot of things which i do a lot of back in Brunei. One of these is the nightly cruising. It'll usually be me with a couple of friends, just driving around without a purpose in mind other than simply for the relaxation of it. We would talk about stuff both meaningful and meaningless, smoke our lives away and generally not doing much.

(Girls, trust me, it is *this* time when guys start to talk about themselves without the macho BS getting in the way. So never refuse the offer to join in, at this time you never know what stories will pop out of a guy's mouth)

It is these times when guys get sappy. They'll talk about the problems they're having with the opposite sex, family troubles, work-related problems, you know, non-guy-stuff kinda talk. We'll talk about anything that comes to mind, anything that has been bugging us, whether its over a girl, some guy that he's (and automatically, we're) pissed at, etc. Sometimes the problems could be so inane that we'd end up trying to slap the offender on the head, while the car's still moving.

So dodge like hell when you see a black Cruiser weaving in and out of the road, and wave. It'll most probably be me and my friends trying to beat the crap out of each other.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Again, for Random Reader.

2005-04-10T16:00:00.000+01:00

Okay.

RR - How sweet. Does your friends run to the candyshop together hand-in-hand and buys each other lollipops? Do you know why i seem to have all the answers, RR? Because, i am a cynic. I tend not to cover my eyes with rose-tinted glasses, and gloss over all the scary bits just because it doesn't conform with my beliefs. All this things you're talking about sounds like one side of a story indeed. The 'whoa, we didn't mean it to get this far' story.

RR, do you know what a Revisionist is? One of its closest kin is an Apologist. They're the people who deny the atrocities of a past event by presenting to the world a version of past events so fixed up, so glossed over that it becomes almost drama-like by comparison. One such example could be found here.

Check out the site, cause i believe it'll be of help to you.

How do you know that there weren't any personal matters, RR? Are you a mindreader, by any chance? But i digress. Perhaps 'some' of the members of 'that' football team actually didn't 'know of the goalkeeper's existence'. But somehow, i do find that statement of yours really funny. We're Bruneians, remember? We're ****ing busybodies! We want to know the affairs of everybody else, 'cause guess why? We're ****ing Bruneians! Everybody knows everybody else, and whatever it is they're doing, 'cause we're ****ing busybody Bruneians! And since our beloved country is a small Sultanate of 350,000 people living on a patch of land 5,865 Sq. Km in size, everybody's bound to hear of everybody else. Students of our country living in a foreign country just amplifies that particular matter twofold, for the simple reason that there's so few Bruneians. Or do you not have many friends here, RR? Just those bunch of people, and no one else?

I won't even attempt to point out to you how what you said there is also a point of contradictoriness, or did you forget your previous tags?

'The stupid goalkeeper of budak kampung is probably just perasan that yada yada yada...'

Wow. What an enlightenment. I so never knew thaaaaat, else i wouldn't have started this discussion. Can anyone feel the sarcasm bubbling out of that previous line? Hey RR, do you realise that the same could be said of your side, specifically the part where you said 'he needs to realise that the world does not revolve around him...'? Or are you just a bit too scared to ask the opinion of a neutral? One who is neither from your side of the fence, or from my side? I'm not suggesting anything, though. Just a helpful comment for you.

And oh, the part about the dictionaries wasn't meant for you, if you actually bothered to read the post you'd know that. It was actually for another person who tagged before you, maybe you'd know of him. Not paying attention now are you?

Proofreading, heh... I haven't done that in years. Now i don't mean MY work getting proofread, i meant my proofreading for others. Else what conceivable use could i have for this Linguistic degree i'm pursuing? On argument structuring, i have my Philosophy module. There we argue about the existence of God, the fallacies of modern politics, etc etc. You know, heavy stuff. You'd probably be familiar with that i gather, but maybe not. So RR, in arguing something so inconsequential as this with someone like you, i don't need any help.

Yes, RR, i did agree that friends do react, how many times must i agree on you on this? And how many times must i tell you that i have no problems with that? And how many times must i tell you that this is not what i'm talking about? Again, what i strongly disagree with is the methods/tactics used, not the driving force behind the event. Suckerpunches, stomps to the body whilst lying down, kicks to the head whilst lying down again, another pinning the victim (and he surely is in this case, can you disagree with that?) to the floor whilst the others around the both of them are kicking the life out of the victim.

If this was a courtroom RR, i'd win without even trying. That's why i annoy all of you. That's why i seem to have all the answers. Because you see, that is what others saw. That is what the video shows. That is why a lot of people agree with me, though they chose not to be so vocal as i do. That is a personal choice. I'm sure you understand that, RR.

You see RR, people are incensed because of what occured in the video, as it is a sign of the problems that are facing today's youth. If young, impressionable kids who love football saw that video, it'll get them thinking that its okay to fight in football. Its cool. It means i'm the stronger guy. Even though i only kicked him in the head whilst he was lying down, i'm still better than him.

RR, i've been on both ends of that fence. I've been on the receiving end of beatings, i've been on the dishing out end. For the record, you're not talking to a newbie, like yourself. I know how fights revolve, before, during and after. A mark of cowardice is, in my most humble opinion, is this - "Suckerpunches, stomps to the body whilst lying down, kicks to the head whilst lying down again, another pinning the victim (and he surely is in this case, can you disagree with that?) to the floor whilst the others around the both of them are kicking the life out of the victim, four against one". That's why i'm angry. That's why a lot of people are angry. The methods used, not the reasons why.

Am i pissing everybody off, RR? Or am i only pissing off your side? Don't be so presumptuous in presenting yourself as the voice of everybody else. I have often repeated time and time again in my posts that these are my views, and mine alone. Your measly tags are insinuating that you are talking for everybody else, excluding myself. You think i am trying to get people to believe what i say, so may i ask what is it you're doing? Isn't that the same thing?

Oh, of course, you'll say "we're only trying to balance out your arguments and show you the other side of the story!".

*scrolls up the tagboard*

Oh, apparently you just did.

"...when the fact of the matter is, your belief is biased and completely wrong."

Hmm.

"Maybe it seems like we're being biased too but we're only trying to balance out your arguments and show you the other side of the story!"

?

I have serious doubts whether you know what an argument is. For one thing, when arguing you do not leave out such gaping holes as THIS. This is just begging the question. So my beliefs are biased and wrong, and your beliefs are to balance out mine. Umm, a question? Why are MY views the biased ones and are completely wrong? Why aren't yours? Why are yours only 'to balance out your arguments' arguments? Why is it not possible that you're the ones having biased and completely wrong views, and i am trying to balance out your arguments?

Of course, you'll say that i started it first.

*BEEP* wrong answer. The one who started it first was the one who swung the first punch.

*sigh* 'hoohaa' is not a catechism of mine, it was the nick of the tagger who tagged before you, RR. Could you please get yourself straightened out before you ask other people to straighten themselves out? You accuse me of trying to be smartalecky, so what was that crap you just pulled?

'we don't have time to deal with anymore of your HOOHAAS!'

Are you actually trying to be subtle and devious? A pun on my written work? A smartass play on my words?

*sigh... eyes pointed to the ceiling, imploring the skies for a thunderbolt to reduce me to ashes.*

So this would be the last time you guys tagged huh... since it is your opinion that you guys have 'straighten things out'. So your views are the correct ones, eh?

*sigh*

Okay.

1. This conflicts with your statement that you're 'only trying to balance out your (i.e.mine) arguments...'

2. You're leaving yourself open to the question, again, 'Who confirmed that what you say is, in your opinion, the real truth?'

3. You're begging to be asked, 'How do you have the ability to straighten things out? Are you people purveyors of justice or something? Can you back up what you say with something that is at least not totally conjecture?'.

Peace to you too, RR. Pardon me if i don't smile, all this dessication of idiotic arguments has left a bad taste in my mouth.

thefren - Now maybe YOU should grow up, too. How do you know that CR hasn't got anything to do with this? Do you know who CR is? I doubt it. So how do you know that he hasn't got anything to do with this? For all you know you might be talking to to the goalkeeper himself, or the referee of the match, or the matchball being used. For the record, i do know who CR is, and he has EVERYTHING to do with this. So shush.

atul5353 - Maybe RR doesn't know how to use the comments function, no?

7stars supporter - whoa, easy cowboy. Relek2 eh. Lets not drop down to their level now, okay? *snigger*

CrAdLe Rock - Ehe biar tia mengayau kemari yo. Layan saja tia, bukannya susah.

SeVenStaRs, out.

In response to... hoohaa & Random Reader

2005-04-08T15:36:00.000+01:00

Okay, this is getting personal.

hoohaa - Ok, ko start becakap kasar arah aku, aku cakap kasar balik arah ko jua. Satu, ko pikir ko gagah lah tu mempost as a random tagger? Aku wang berani becakap, walaupun urg tau kan siapa tuan milik site ani, pasalnya aku nda penakut macam kau. Mun ko kan mijak parut ku maritah, aku menunggu kau. Ko tau aku belajar dimana, kan? Mun ko na tau, aku belajar di
Manchester. Maritah turun mun ko kan nunjuk gagah. Talk is cheap, boy. Back your words with actions.

Dua, mun ko kan mempost cerita pasal aku arah site mu (kalau ko ada banar, nda pulang ku heran tu kalau ada) POST TAH. Mun banar cerita2 mu atu bah apa buleh ku buat. Ko sendiri cakap ko ada the right kan? Sama macam aku, aku posted something on my site because i have a right to post on what choose to post. Kalau aku kan mempost si anu bin si anu ani perasan kuat (contohnya tah kau), so what? Kalau si anu ani take offense, ia sendiri bah mengaga aku, meminta aku take the post down, or alter the wording. Yang ko ani marah2 apa bisnes mu?

Tiga, stories aku ani memang valid from my point of view. Atu jgn sekali2 lupa. My views, my beliefs, not anyone else's. Kamu buleh percaya, atau nda percaya. That depends on the reader, atu kamu sendiri punya pasal. This is my site, kan? Aku na pajal kamu kemari, aku na gitau 'Hari2 kamu mesti aga site ku'. Memang ani the WWW, and this here's my space. Mun kamu aga bruneistudent.com lagi bagus2 tu the comments on the video. Cuba baca disana lagi. Aku na nampak pun urg yg melawan comments urg psl the video disana. Kenapa, takut?

Any taggers yg mengkomen secara kasar ka, secara lambut ka, memang ku balas balik sama mcm apa yg di tagnya. Mcm ko bah, hoohaa. Mun ko kan get physical sama aku, bah jgn cakap saja. Ko turun kemari, bawa tia segala kuncu2 mu. Jgn ko silap, tuan milik site ani bukan nya sanang2 kan kamu makan, mentang2lah aku ada website ko pikir aku ani jenis nerd, jenis tuyu? Hoohaa, aku bukan kebaruan mcm ko arah dunia2 bekelaie apa ani, iatah malas ku kan mempost panjang psl the incident atu. Alum berapa bah tu bui, just a couple of kids who think they're all that. Jgntah nda merati kan abis2 ani.

p.s. Just because you don't understand the words that i use on this site, doesn't mean that i'm trying to look smart. It means that you need to catch up on your vocabulary classes, boy. Use your head, not your dick.

p.p.s. Excuse me, but you're telling me to get a life? You're the one trying to lose your life, by threatening a KBian with physical violence. That's not too wise, in fact that's downright stupid, you dumbass.

p.p.p.s. Hehe. So i provoked the booing, eh? How sad for people like you to grasp on straws to try and prove something. I didn't need to do anything, everyone started the booing, from one end of the UK to the other and everyone else in between. If you were actually there, in the crowd, you'd know that. I just 'helped' it along, that's all. Hah.

Second one on the line, Random Reader.

RR - Did you read any of my other posts? If you did, you'd find that i do accept criticism, but if and only if the criticism is presented in such a way as to actually felicitate a response that is meant to improve the site that i maintain. However, if the criticism was meant to inflamme, as a form of verbal attack on my person, that is when i do react. In that i agree with you, my words were indeed harsh. But i find it strange when the persons 'doing the reacting' is from neither sides of the equation, i.e. from one team or the other(notice i still do not mention any team names, i will not breach my own personal rules) but rather from those people who were on the bylines, the same as myself. Why are these people incensed by what i write? Why do they say that i should mind my own business, why i'm wrong, why my views are biased, etc etc? Who are they to have the ability much less the right to limit what I am capable of saying?

Easy question. They are the friends of the team whom i touched on in that post.

Friends do react when a member of their own cliques are harrassed, injured, beaten up, verbally abused, etc. This is an oft-repeated truth, as friendship is an intangible matter, whose values sometimes transcends the realms of the rationale right into the arena of pure unadulterated stupidity. But that is what friends are for. I understand that as well as anybody else.

However, when anyone start to verbalise threats on my person or anyone else within my own sphere, that is when I start to react. When anyone starts to use a football game as a pretext to petty, childish forms of revenge, i do react. When someone starts to beat a friend of mine up, i react. When a GROUP of people start to beat a friend of mine up, i react. And indeed,
the guy getting a beatdown is a friend of mine. Enough excuse, no? So in saying that, this fight is of my concern. Think back, RR. Do you have any friends? The answer to that would most probably be 'yes'. Would you stand up for them if they really were your friends? If your answer is 'no', then i understand, and i pity you.

On another matter, i mentioned that team as being defending champions as they did win another tournament held before the Easter Games. In organising things, winners are categorised by how many of the two yearly held tournaments they won. If they
won the first one (held in winter), they're the defending champions. If another team won the Easter Games, then they're the new champions. Just wanted to clarify things for you, RR.

I would also have to disagree with your view that the fight was not about sore losers. I do this because of my knowledge of some words which were exchanged between members of one team and their supporters prior to the match, which led me to believe that this match had a hint of sour grapes. Perhaps personal matters had more of the influencing factor? It is your belief
that the goalkeeper instigated the brawl by namecalling. It is my belief that this fight started a long time ago, long before the Easter Games. In your view, the goalie provoked the other team for a fight. And yes, he did get a fight. If what you say is true, then that is the way of things. But one question, though : is your definition of a fight 4 guys punching, stomping and kicking another person in the head while this guy was lying down? Is your definition of a fight a person being punched by another from behind whilst the victim was 'engaged in conversation' with another?

Now that, i believe, is not a fight. That is cowardice. Ganging on another, suckerpunch from behind, kicks to the head whilst victim is on the floor, the video shows it all. That is why the controversy on my site started, because of me disagreeing with the tactics employed by one team in ganging on another. If you have even a shred of human decency, you'd think about it again, RR. Feel free to tell me the result of those thoughts.

One last point i am going to disagree upon, is 'Bruneians are ****ing busybodies!'. Its not only Bruneians, its everybody who's at least a quarter human. We all have feelings of empathy, of inquistiveness, of wanting to know what's up. If humans weren't such busybodies, then there'll be no such thing as organised aid for a worthy cause, such as War Relief for Palestine, or Tsunami Aid for Acheh. Don't think that these noble causes and what us Bruneians (i'm presuming you are also a Bruneian, 'cause if you're not, then you are in deep shit.) do as you so aptly put it is not the same. If i did not care for what happened to my neighbour, then should i go and pour water onto his burning house? Of course not. All these controversies, harsh words exchanged between debating members of this issue, stems from emotions, whether vengeful, empathy, anger, etc. I am stating my empathy for the goalie being beaten up by a group of people, whilst at the same time stating my anger at such acts of cowardice.

If you were at least a quarter human, RR, then you'd understand that. My suggestion to you is to be a tryharder. Heh.

P.s. Hoohaa - there you go, a course in Linguistics (the section for RR if you don't catch my drift). Now sit down, grab some pencil and paper, a dictionary, and start reading. It'll be good for you.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Trimmed, Condensed, Revised, Whatever you want to call it.

2005-03-29T13:38:00.000+01:00

Listening to System Of A Down - Aerials.

*Switches on PC*

*Checks email*

*Checks out http://tujuhbintang.blogspot.com , Oh, new tags*

*Hmm.. inflammatory tags. Ah well.*

Well, yesterday i had a pretty nice long post typed out as a reply to taggers, but a power outage put my PC to sleep before i had the chance to post it up, resulting in a couple of wasted hours with no post to show for *grumble grumble... i'm still NOT over it*. Now i am feeling absolute laziness in recalling what i typed earlier, so i'll just put up a final post on this matter.

I'll divide this post into three parts, the first one is for the Nice taggers, the second part for the Big, Bad & Mad Taggers *snigger* and the third one for the Neutral taggers.

Nice taggers : Thanks for coming here, and if you agree with any more of my thoughts, or if you have something nice to say without being too angry, then do come again and leave some footsteps, yes? =)

Big, Bad & Mad Taggers : Uuu, scary. Can you see me shaking in my virtual boots? Or do you see me shaking with obvious guilt, anger and humiliation? I'm like, SO sorry if i offended you! Should i lick your boots to make up for it?

Ha. Like i give a flying *bleep*.

You can say anything you want, i welcome it. But nothing short of a subpoena is going to make me detract any single one of my posts. They're my posts, and this is MY site. Just in case you guys haven't realised it yet, this is http://tujuhbintang.blogspot.com , not http://all-views-here-are-written-to-keep-everyone-happy.bloggs.com .

Just because i call it like i see it, doesn't mean that i'm a hater, no? All my views here have data behind them, as a result of me actually bothering to talk to people to get the different perspectives behind a specific subject matter. As a result, my conclusions are based on not just one perspective, but on many different ones, both positive and negative.

Anyway, (and its here that it gets a bit specific) again just because i call things like i see it, does that mean i'm 'jahat mulut'? Isn't that a bit, well... a bit dumb? Just because people like you are too scared to even dream of actually addressing such 'controversial issues' *yawn*, does that mean i have to walk in your footsteps as well? I have to be meek, i have to be controlled?

Ha. Again, like i give a flying sideways, triple-ollied 360 De La Soul F.*.C.K.

Only in your dreams of sheep gambolling in the pastures, multiple rainbows in the sky and clear running spring water that tastes like the finest wines would you ever find things so nice. Wake up and move on, yes?

/edit : and oh, 'ur-fren', i seriously think that you aren't a friend of mine. Are you just dicking with me? Even if you ARE a friend and you're dicking with me, then this is for you.

Neutral Taggers : My thanks for your tags, and i'll keep your opinions in mind for next time. Better yet, next time i'll provide the train of thought & basic party info that led me to post something up. Perhaps that'll keep everyone happy, or at the very least quiet, no? =D

So there it is, ladies and gents, a much condensed (and i have to say, much more cleaner) version of The Post That Was Lost. Anybody else come up with any more brilliant ideas, feel free to tag one in. Of course, next time i won't be so forgiving, 'cause in my most humble opinion this topic is SO over like, 2 weeks ago. Get over it, and don't do anything stupid next time, yes?

SeVenStaRs, out.

In response to JustSaying

2005-03-23T03:17:00.000Z

Listening to nothing in particular.

This is just a quick post, in response to the tag by JustSaying. I thought i should give an adequate response to her tag.

First off, in OUR particular case on cheering, we only cheered for the team AFTER they scored a goal (which is logical, anyway. If you THINK about it, that is). Now how is that interrupting the game in any way? Isn't the game stopped after each goal? How could we be making life hard for the players, when the game isn't even played yet? As for the cheering making it hard for the players to hear the whistle of the referee, us on the upper balcony could hear the whistle just fine, loud and clear. Now how is it possible that the players who are on the same floor as the referee cannot hear the whistle? And how is it possible, that on the video recording of all of the netball games which had us 'guys' screaming so loud, the sound of the referee's whistle is actually very much still audible, even amidst all the noise we were making?

I don't know if you, JustSaying, know anything about sound waves and patterns, but the pitch of a whistle is very distinct, it vibrates the eardrums of a listener a specific way so that only the ABSOLUTELY DEAF can't hear it. That's why whistles are used as a tool to attract attention by lifeguards in a noisy and busy environment, such as beaches and swimming pools, and also as a form of self-defence by women to attract attention to themselves if they were attacked by an assailant. The use of whistles are encouraged by the governments of the US and the UK just for this purpose.

Perhaps they didn't know what they were talking about, JustSaying? All those researchers and scientists working in the employ of two of the most powerful and advanced governments in the world?

Oh, JustSaying, there is also such a thing as 'blowing a whistle harder', you know. Just in case if the referee thinks the players around him/her are all deaf. In a game of football, with nearly 60,000 rambunctious, most often drunk supporters attempting to make as much noise as possible, what does the referee use to call the game to a halt? A good ol' whistle.

So as you can see, i have thought about it a little, perhaps even more than you have. So, there is no way a player of netball in that particular tournament would not be able to hear the whistle of the referee, especially in an acoustically enclosed atmosphere (i.e. where sound bounces off the walls in all directions, with very small amounts of sound energy released to the surrounding atmosphere due to the enclosure of the walls all around, resulting in sounds staying longer) such as the sports building at Nottingham.

And on the supporters being 'unaccountably rude', the 'rudeness' as you put it is very much ACCOUNTABLE. The referee that we're discussing right here started it, by BEING rude to the supporters. There is such a thing as asking NICELY, as opposed to stamping your authority. I do however question your definition of 'rudeness' as you put it. What was rude? I have a video recording of most of the netball games, and after reviewing it there wasn't anything rude at all about our cheers, towards the teams and the other referees.

Of course, if you count the 'Shhh' cheer as being rude, then you're most probably right, it was rude. It was MEANT to be rude. It was MEANT to annoy the referee in question, not 'players' such as yourself (which i highly doubt, by the way). You see, 'rudeness' as you say depends on the context of the utterance. I didn't get a single complaint from any of the other players, except for yourself, JustSaying.

So are we rude, or are YOU being a prude? Honestly, now.

You know what i think? You're probably a friend of the referee in question (or perhaps you're her, who knows. I'll check my Ip logs later) and you are trying to defend your friend. But you have made a grievious error, JustSaying, by NOT DOING the same thing YOU asked ME to do before posting.

And i quote 'So think before you say things'.

As you can very well see from the composition and length of this post, i did think about it, and i have countered all of your comments with some comments of my own. Ergo, i also proved that YOU didn't think very much before tagging my site by virtue of me roasting every single comment you left, which were all obviously in the condition of being uninformed and not well thought of.

And another thing, if you were planning on leaving 'scathing' remarks on my tagboard (though for the life of me i actually laughed out loud when i read your tags), next time don't use the pseudonym 'JustSaying'. 'Cause it is very much obvious from the tone of your tags that you were not 'Just Saying', you were being a bit patronising and confrontational, attempting to point out my 'not thinking before posting' to the other readers. Did you think you were being clever and subtle now, JustSaying?

One last thing before i close this post; you've forgotten another thing. Perhaps you don't understand the concept of blogging, but a blog is where a person talks about anything that they want to (according to the limits of legality, of course), and just as long as they do not name anybody in particular(in which case it will be slander, a highly punishable offence) a blogger can criticise anybody whom s/he thinks ought to be criticised. Did you read any names from my previous post? I don't think so.

So go be all subtle and devious somewhere else, yes? If the posts on my site hurts the 'prim-and-proper' side of your psyche, then please do NOT come again.

SeVenStaRs, out.

/edit : PasserBy : My observations exactly, i agree. A question of favoritism, perhaps? Or perhaps the official in question being too 'chicken' to vent her laughable 'wrath' onto her own community circles? See how, with corroborating evidence from another observer, your comments are looking weaker and weaker by the second, JustSaying?

How's that foot tasting?

Of gadgets, tournaments and dumb little officiating girls.

2005-03-21T18:52:00.000Z

Listening to Lemar - Lullaby

Well, it has been a very hectic week. I feel like i've been torn apart and put together again by an unqualified surgeon, or by a two-year-old with a tube of glue. In one week i managed to do a lifetime of activities.

But before i continue with my mindless commentary (i'm still a bit tired), i'll do the tag replies.

atul5353 - Hehe, i'll explain what an 'Average Bruneian' is next time, but do remind me yes? And yeah, i love that song too =)

PhoenixLancer - That could be arranged, you know. Though i'm not too confident at the high tones, i could sing a passable 'End Of The Road'. Ehe =)

Lil Jedi - Enough with the Back To The Future quotes, already. Hehe =P

Huntress - Why read between the lines, when i could just show you 'the finger' straight away? Hehe =P

Now, as an opening shot at this post, let me show you guys out there my latest gadget:

Pretty, yes? I thought so =D

Sweet. But wait, it gets better:

Beautiful thing, this. Its a Creative Zen Extra, i got it off Amazon for an amount i shall not disclose. Its not as pretty as an Ipod, or as small as a Mini Ipod (its roughly the size of an old Walkman) but its as good an Ipod in terms of quality (if not better, with interchangeable batteries too, natch) as well as memory/price ratio. Check this out:

Its 30GB, people. I could spend a long time filling this thing in with songs. 30GB, and its WAY cheaper than a 20GB Ipod, and only slightly more expensive (around £15) than a 5GB Mini Ipod. I leave it to you guys to do the math, and find out which one's cheaper =)

The week in which i got my Zen, i had my hair cut, by myself. Seriously, i.m not kidding. Its now really, REALLY short. But my Missy likes me with short hair, so i'm not complaining. Its her opinion which matters =) At the weekend of the same week, i went to Nottingham for the 2005 Brunei Nottingham (BruNotts) Games, in which i was playing for the Brunei Manchester (BruManch for short) football team. The girls were playing netball. Our names?

The guys - Raven 8 F.C. The girls - The Ravens.

Brunei Manchester Ravens. Natch.

And now, on towards the pics.

The Ravens and Raven 8 F.C., plus supporters and various hangers-on.

The BruNotts Games 2005 banner. They sure went all out.

Ravens, Raven 8 F.C. plus extras.

My B.I.A. Fadhlan also played in this tournament (whilst sparking some controversy as only he could manage), he was the captain of the Bruneian Contigent from Perth, Scotland.

The indoor 5-a-side football tournament was a farcical affair, with a couple of very, very stupid teams creating tension, spoiling the tournament for everyone and displaying their innate sense of idiocy by engaging in fisticuffs with a rival team, who were their friends to begin with! Why did they do that? One, they were on the losing side, trailing 1 nil before the fight broke out and two, they're just plain dumbasses with a bit too much of the 'high-and-mighty' attitude about them. All throughout the tournament and even before the fight started, they were being very noisy (in all the wrong places, e.g. during the National Anthem and during the recital of the Doa Selamat), disrespectful, displaying some offensive attitude to everyone and generally being everything that i mentioned in my 'Rant' post.

They did get what they had coming to them, as they were disqualified from the tournament for being the instigators of the fight (which they obviously were), awaiting an investigation from the ruling commitee. To add the icing on the cake, they were booed by everybody out of the building, head drooping with shame. Indeed, no one paid attention to the supposed 'Champions' at all during the remainder of the tournament.

That sure served their fool asses right. Bida jua banar eh. Nobody's scared of you, ya idiots. Quit frontin'.

On a happier note, Manchester's netball team were the champions of their tournament, and i repeat again : THE CHAMPIONS. They were undefeated throughout, scoring 51 goals and conceding only 4 goals in i don't remember how many games. They sure deserved it, they were tireless and hardworking, they trained together countless times, disregarding twisted ankles, sprained wrists and various other netballing injuries.

My felicitations and respect go out to you girls. You girls deserved it, and i'm proud of you girls =)

The girls after their last game, which was a mere formality at that point.

The Ravens with their trophies.

Us BruManch people having our long awaited lunch (it was a hungry, hungry day for all of us).

The BruManch teams, plus supporters and various stragglers, tired out after all the shenanigans.

All in all, it was a good tournament for all of us, marred with moments of idiocy by some really dumb people who think they're all that.

However, i do have one last thing to say before i end this post, its about an 'official' of the netball tournament who was being a bit, well... being a bit of an ASS.

There was this girl wearing the yellow T-shirt of a committee member of the Tournament, officiating the netball games. Or rather, telling the supporters to shut up and not cheer, especially the very loud and raucous and mostly male voices of the Manchester supporters. She seemed to have something against people cheering their teams as a form of moral support. I seriously wonder if this girl has ever gone to a sporting event. How can you tell supporters to shut up?! She even threatened to 'escort' some people who were not listening to her 'authority' out of the building.

Whaaaaaat? Now wait a just a cotton-frickin' min... no, she didn't just say that, did she? No, she didn't just gave a blast of the whistle and putting her finger to her mouth at us, telling us to shut up, did she? Oh yes she did. Now just a minute, who the HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? You think that with that pass that says 'Commitee' on it, and wearing a commitee t-shirt would actually give you any respect, when you're asking us very vocal and very pig-headed supporters to do something that is totally absurd, bordering on the outer verges of stupidity? Now, she didn't come up to us and asked us NICELY to not make so much noise, she treated everyone in the building like little kids.

Well, if that's her game, then i had just the thing for her. If she likes to treat other people like mindless children, we'll do the same thing to her too, and see how much she likes a piece of her own pie. I thought up of something to bring her down to size almost immediately.

Whenever our team scored a goal (which is when we usually cheered, anyway. Logic, right?), one of my friends would start to jump up and cheer very loudly, but then i would pull him down and made three very loud - i repeat, VERY LOUD - 'Shhhhhhhh!' sounds, which was almost immediately picked up by all of the supporters in the building, not to mention other teams who were allies of The Ravens. Needless to say, everyone - including the intended victim - got the irony, not to mention the point of such a cheer.

If looks could kill, then all of us cheering on the balcony would be stone-cold dead by now, as the looks she gave us were nothing short of murderous. But everytime she stared at us with obvious hate and humiliation in her eyes, we would stare at her RIGHT BACK, boring holes right into her irises, when at last she had to look away and never so much as glanced upwards at us throughout the entire remainder of the tournament.

Hah. Supporters 3, Little Officiating Girl 0. Never EVER annoy us (or anyone else) again with your bloated and totally misplaced sense of self-esteem and importance. You chose the wrong people to annoy, my dear, and you paid for it in spades. From now on, henceforth and forthwith, you shall be known as 'The Shh Girl'.

Next time, please do realise that a small plastic pass is not an excuse to act like a total nincompoop.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Trashtalk.

2005-03-11T13:32:00.000Z

Listening to Boyz 2 Men - Doin' Just Fine

I've always loved Boyz 2 Men's music. Oh, it doesn't matter that their songs are often about relationships, heartbreak and more of such ilk, they were, and probably still are, one of the best urban soul groups ever.

I just bought a Boyz 2 Men greatest hits compilation ; listening to them nonstop has placed me in a reflective, vegetative mood. Sue me.

Tag replies.

atul5353 - You're welcome =)

zephyr - No problems, and thanks for linking me too yeah? =)

Ain - Hehe =D with this post, you are hereby linked. Ehe =)

Amal - Thanks =) The song was written quite a while before, i just decided to post it up. As the next project =)

Recently i had a long chat with Adhilles, and we came to an agreement that if he could make it, he'll be coming over to Manchester with his recording equipment. That means we'll be recording some songs together, which was the original plan when i wrote my songs. So if anyone is interested in downloading a couple of new songs from us, then check this site often during the Easter break ;D shameless self-advertisement here.

Oh, i have something to rant about. Don't worry, this'll be quick.

Rant mode : ON.

Seriously, don't play around with me, 'cause none of you guys have any idea just what i am. If you people think your 'subtle' games of innuendo and whispered words behind my back would have any adverse effects on me, you are sadly mistaken. This broad back of mine has known many knives, many scars criss-crossing its surface, and i've always shrugged everything off and continued on my way. Just a couple more wouldn't even begin to hurt me.

But don't think, don't think that i will not react when you guys irritate me. I have no respect for any of you, and i will treat you as such, until you have learned sufficiently enough in my eyes to regain my respect.

But until then, if you anger me, i will respond with all the strength, anger and experience of my youth, something that you guys have no experience of, being the protected upper-class snobs you are.

Any one of you people want to take me up on this statement, you know where to find me. That is, if any of you has the balls to actually make something of this, which i seriously suspect to be not the case.

Cowards.

Rant mode : OFF.

Yes, it is the male hormones taking effect, to continously headbutt each other like crazed mountain goats to assert their dominancy in their respective domains.

But this time its something special, as the newbies (i.e. those who were formerly nerds, had no friends and are generally regarded as 'uncool' discovering the real world outside and proceeding to think themselves able to live in it the way they want to, without repercussions) are strutting their stuff, getting in everyone's hair and generally irritating the crap out of everyone who has sense.

And no, i'm not talking about the new Bruneian entrants in Manchester either, rather its the opposite.

Sometimes i wonder about these people in general. But before i go into specifics, let me explain who these people are :

They are the people who were effectively nerds in Brunei, with no widespread networks of friends and very few acquaintances, who were silent, forgotten spectators in the game of life, acknowledged by very few as existing, let alone being alive.

In simple terms, they're the 'tuyu' people. No friends, nothing interesting about them (other than either being smart or coming from a rich family, or both, or neither.), nothing particularly attractive about them, no recognition when anybody sees them, in short : NO LIFE.

But when they study in a foreign country (including OZ, NZ, Canada and whereever else Bruneians go to study, this type of people exists everywhere, it seems.) and they start to learn and grasp the first few tendrils of freedom and responsibility, they go berserk. Curiously, this manifestation of psychosis (for you psychology students out there, natch) has many subroots.

Here's a quick sum up.

1. The responsible, fatherly figure type (guys).
2. The megaslut (girls AND guys).
3. The arrogant smart/rich/good-looking (both).

"Now numbers 2 and 3 are obvious, but what's wrong with number 1?", i hear you ask. Here's a simple, logical explanation - since they have no experience whatsoever of taking care of themselves when back in Brunei, how could these people know what to do in another country? So in short, their 'advice' is generally talking sh*t.

And how could i say all this? Because i know them, i know who they were before they set foot in another man's land. So i ain't labelling anyone unnecessarily, this is who they really are now.

End of explanation. Now back to my wonderment.

I wonder why. Why oh why do these people do this. Don't they realise the 'fame' that they crave here will only last as long as they're here, physically? Sooner or later, you'll have to return home, where everything begins anew. Nobody'll know, let alone care if you were a guitar maestro, a football star, a popular 'everyone-knows-me' person while you were studying abroad. Its what you do in Brunei that matters.

Maybe, just maybe they are trying to make up for lost time, in which case i have no problems with. Go ahead, knock yourselves out. Party here, party there, clubbing here and there, try this try that, go crazy wheeee.

But when these people start to turn all condescending and arrogant towards other people (i.e. me, just as an example) displaying their newfound attitude like a its a right, like they were born with it, this is when the sh*t gets sour.

Excuse me, i simply don't give a damn. I didn't need to go 10,000 miles in the opposite direction to glean experience of the nature that these people crave. Do you guys think that since i don't join you in your various activities, i am beneath you in terms of life's experiences? I could only sit and gape at this, my mind going "What the..?!"

Please. I've done everything that you guys are proud of doing now, and then some. I've done it all, and i'm done with doing it. I didn't need to go so far away from home to do it, i could find similar entertainments back home. These people might argue that its not the same, the experience differs widely, etc. I agree, and i will say the same thing to these guys too; the Bruneian experience differs widely from what you guys are doing. Thing is, i've done both. Have you?

Sorry i'm speaking in such general terms here, but my readers who has knowledge of Bruneian students coming back from a foreign country, either as an acquaintance, a sibling or whatever, would know what i mean. The average Bruneian is very much prone to excess. Use your imaginations when thinking of which types of excess, and you wouldn't be too far from the truth.

Thank God i've gotten over that stage a long, long time ago, neither am i an average Bruneian (at least i think so). I'll have to explain what an 'average Bruneian' is next time.

I really, really don't give a damn about what happens to these sorts of people. They could grind themselves into the mud and stay there for all i care. My compassionate soul *snicker* is very much offended by the sight of such human manifestations of depravity, and i'd much rather be away from such foolish beings. Go do whatever it is you want to do, just don't give me no problems and i won't even look in your direction.

But if any of you 'tuyu' people causes me problems, i'll simply trash you senseless. No matter who you are.

SeVenStaRs, out.

/edit : turns out the rant wasn't so quick after all. Ah, well.

Let's get everything started.

2005-03-06T18:52:00.000Z

Listening to Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River.

Hello everyone, i'm sorry i haven't updated in such a long while. I haven't got the energy, especially after my triple-blasted fever, which thank God has abated somewhat. Here's an extra-long post just to make up for all the downtime.

I'll do the replies to my taggers first.

Chesty - Umm... Hi to you too? And Mirtle Beach sounds great. I have to go there one day.

Insomniac & Sparklin' - Hehe. I so know what you guys mean. I felt like i had enough of all the stupidity, i just had to hit out. Since there's nobody i can blame directly, this is the best i could do =) glad you guys liked it.

r-a-w-i-n-i - Yes, i am pissed. And yeah, i do recognise that it IS their life after all, and i respect that. But when their choices in life starts to actually rub themselves in my face and generally annoy the crap out of me, I will DEFINITELY hit out, whether literally or figuratively. But hey, such is life. Right? =)

Lil Jedi - You don't fall into any category, thank GOD for that =P

atul5353 - Thanks for wishing me well =) In reply to your comments on my rant post, i do admit i label people. But that only happens to people who truly deserves it. I'm not a particularly vindictive person, but i do hate people who annoy me, all the more so because of an attitude that's easily avoided. I used to have a very F'ed up life, but i didn't turn out to be some psychotic axe-murderer now, right? ... right?

and yeah, you guys ARE using my tagboard for a chatzone. But chat away chat away, i don't mind =)

\uzz/ - Thanks, and no problems. I love your artwork, mind doing something for me? hehe =)

Huntress - I. Don't. Dance. No. More. 'Cause honestly, i no longer have the physique i used to have in college to pull off all my former moves. So, until i trim meself down, you go 'angan2' only okeh? hehehe =P

Chrissy - I. Am. So. Jealous. But its okay. I'll find other ways to annoy YOU instead. Maybe i could bomb Highbury? Ehe kidding =P

Ain - Of course you remember me. Hehe. Exchange links, 'Bawang Merah'? See, i remember still. ;D

zephyr - Thanks =) I'm assuming you were agreeing with my rant post. Well, i do try to express myself the best way i know how. And don't front, Zeph, i know you have the same literary capabilities as i do =P

*156* - Ehehe =P bahapa u malu tagging arah site ur own hubbie ah, my beloved darling wife? Nah u ;) Me love and miss you so much too syg! =D

On to the post.

I'm tired. I've just finished an Astroturf football tournament here in Manchester, and i have a very ugly tear on the skin of my left kneecap. Plus, i had the huge misfortune of holding in my need to pee while playing, as the urge of nature came to me two minutes before one of our games. And the toilet's a long way away.

Drat. Good thing everything held together as i was kicking, tackling and holding my way through the game. Else i'd have a hard time explaining away an ever-spreading warm patch of pee all over my football shorts.

Oh, yeah. I bought a couple of new books from Amazon. Well, eight to be exact. What can i say? I'm a bookaholic. I read and read and read. If only there was a job where i'll get paid well to read books, i'll be camping outside the office a month before the interviews. I started reading books (all types of books! Give me the printed word, and i'm a happy camper. The best gift you could give me is a book. Ok, i need help.) when I was two years old.

Yes, i was a quick learner when i was a kid. But i think i wore out all my aptitudinal capabilities when i reached the age of twelve. Now i'm just a literate bum, as opposed to an illiterate one.

Right now i'm waiting for my sis to mail me my baby pics. Yes, those pictures of me in my infantile years, where i look so... different. Yes, i do hear all the protestations of 'Of course laaa! you were a baby!'. But before everyone starts pelting me with rocks, let me explain : The differences are STAGGERING. Its like when i was 12 (again) i went into a cocoon and metamorphosised completely.

Okay, simply put: In ALL of my baby pics, i showed my Chinese ancestry in all of its glory. I was a fair-skinned, bouncing baby boy with curly soft hair. But somewhere along the line, i.... transformed. To tell you guys the truth, i prefer how i looked then. Don't get me wrong, i am proud to be a Malay son of Brunei, but i kinda like how i looked then.

Ah, fugedabautit. I'll post the pictures up here when i get them, and you guys can judge for yourselves. (*and in case you were wondering, 'fugedabautit' is the Brooklyn spelling rendition of 'Forget about it'.*)

Hey, i have a new song for you guys to comment on. I only have the lyrics though, i haven't composed the melody for it yet. This song's called 'Sebelum Kau Pergi' ('Before You Go').

Sebelum Kau Pergi.

Perlahankan langkahmu,
nyatakanlah segala pilu,
yg melanda dirimu,
leraikanlah semua yg ada,
dibenak hatimu.

Ertikanlah kepadaku,
segala semua kepedihanmu,
sebutlah satu persatu,
punca titisan air mata,
tanda hancurnya cintamu.

* Kepadaku,
kau katakan semua,
lepaskan segala rasa,
luahkan segala kata,
sebelum kau pergi.

Pandanglah diriku,
punca segala resahmu,
katakanlah padaku,
semua sebabnya mengapa,
kau tinggalkan diriku.

Renungi kesedihanku,
Saat kau meninggalkanku.
Lepas segalanya berlalu,
Kerna cintaku, aku rela,
Menjadi sebab kebencianmu.

* Kepadaku,
kau katakan semua,
lepaskan segala rasa,
luahkan segala kata,
sebelum kau pergi.

Perlahankan langkahmu.
Ertikanlah kepadaku.
Pandanglah diriku.
Renungi kesedihanku.
Sebelum kau pergi.

Here's the translation for my non-Malay readers. Of course it is not an exact translation per se, and it sounds so much better in Malay (at least i think so.) but you'll get the idea.

Before You Go.

Slow your steps.
State all the grief,
that has fallen upon you,
release everything that's stored,
in the deepest reaches of your heart.

Explain to me.
all of your sorrow,
Mention, one by one,
The reason for your tears,
the breaking of your love.

* To me,
Just say everything.
Release all your emotions,
Release all your bitter words,
Before you go.

Look at me.
The reason for all your distress.
Tell me,
All the reasons why,
You're leaving me.

Witness, my sadness.
In the moment that you walk away from me.
After all that has passed,
For my love, i am willing,
to be reason enough for your hate.

* To me,
Just say everything.
Release all your emotions,
Release all your bitter words,
Before you go.

Slow your steps.
Explain to me.
Look at me.
Witness, my sadness.
Before you go.

I guess that's a long enough 'make-uppy' post. Comments on the lyrics, please? And thanks for being here =)

SeVenStaRs, out.

I hate fevers.

2005-02-25T19:13:00.000Z

Listening to - my coughing self.

Hello everybody. Pardon me if i sound a bit weird in this post, currently i'm very, very sick. High fever, asthma, chest congestion, geriatric coughing, you name it. My chest feels like a ton of bricks. After lambasting myself with some dubious medication, I decided to forego my Missy's requests for me to stay in bed and post something up.

First off, my thanks for those who commented on my previous ranting. See, i've lived with these sorts of people for quite a while now (in fact, i might still be living with a couple of the categories) and they've always gotten on my nerves. I have no qualms in pointing out to anyone whichever points of their individual attitudes which makes me feel like headbutting them. Pardon me if my opinions were a bit strong for some people, but what the heck, i'm a cynic. I have too much experience in living to ever think that the grass is greener on the other side anymore.

Tonight, we're supposed to have a National Day gathering for all the Bruneians living here in Manchester. Complete with buffet for the roundabouts 50+ Bruneians. Guess who's not going because of some stupid fever which has effectively prevented his tastebuds from experiencing the joys of taste? Damned epidemics. I so hate it when i get sick, which is unfortunately enough too often for my liking. Something about being a Caesarian instead of a natural birth.

Ahh, that's a crock of crap. My Grand Daddy died of asthma, and so did his Daddy before him, and his Daddy before that. Its in my genes to be an asthmatic, and to probably die from an asthma attack, too. We all have to die of something, i suppose.

Well, at least this fever has killed off my appetite to eat. Guess i can look forward to losing a bit of weight. Ever heard of the phrase, 'feed a cold, starve a fever'? Its true, by the way.

Man, my chest is getting worse. I think i'm gonna go lie down.

SeVenStaRs, out.

This is a rant. Read and be offended, or be in agreement. YOUR choice.

2005-02-20T19:24:00.000Z

Listening to N.E.R.D. - Rockstar

Well, this post is going to have very strong ranting overtones. You have been warned.

I have a particular apathy towards people who like to attract attention towards themselves. My brothers and i have a name for these people : Double A people, or 'Attract Attention' people. Those who laugh just a bit too loud in a public area, talk a bit too loud, act all 'kambang-kambangan' (a bit like Mickey Mouse on speed) in front of complete and total strangers, they all fall into this category. Of course, there are other characteristics too which marks the Double A people. A very strong example are those Friendster 'groupies', proclaiming themselves to be 'hot', or 'sexy', or 'queens', or whatever.

Please, we all know you people are actually losers with nothing in particular which sets you as someone important, or even cool. Don't clutter the universe with your pathetic efforts at fame.

Another category of individuals which i have a marked hate for are 'lanji' girls. The only English word that this category could be accurately enough called is sluts, but they're not quite sluts. They're the type of girl who flirts with anything with a piece of meat dangling between their thighs, flitting about from one direction to the next like a drunken bee. They proudly wear the titles like 'biatches', 'manstealer', etc etc. They don't sleep around, though there is a very distinct feeling about them that if they are correctly stimulated, they'll probably shock the proverbial 'humping rabbits'. There are also guys in this category too, though they usually flirt with the opposite sex (notice : 'usually').

Get a life, please. If you want to prove to the world that you're so hot, there are other avenues in which you could do this without debasing yourself to the level of a crackhouse whore. Take that and shove it up where the sun don't shine.

Pseudointellectuals. Or as i like to call them, 'buat-buat pandai' people or BTwoPs for short. The men and women of the 'intellectual world', who never cease to argue about anything that another person has said, whether perfectly logical or otherwise (in fact, the more rational the idea, the more they'll argue, just to show everyone that they know much more than anyone else). They always have an opinion about everything, and they'll vociferously argue their case with erudite eloquency (take that one, losers.) to show everyone present that they're infinitely more well-versed in a topic than the current speaker, much more smarter than anyone else in the room, whatever. However, when faced with a topic that they know other people know that they have no experience or knowledge whatsoever, they won't even be in the same building.

Everybody knows you're just trying - unsuccessfully - to show that you're a smart, cool and knowledgable person. Newsflash : you're just irritating the crap out of everybody. So sit down and shut up, before someone shoves his foot right down that smartass mouth.

Another one of these categories of losers are the PeeGees, or 'perasan gagah' people. These people are mostly men with a serious case of disillusionment about their fighting prowess. Whether they have a huge physique or they're backed by a group of like-minded people, they strut around the place like prize fighting roosters, stamping their authority over anything that catches their fancy and basically shove people around with not even a hint of provocation, whether with their pseudo-strong man voices, condenscending styles of speech or physical imposement.

Please. Everybody knows you're just a bully who hasn't got a lot of friends. And like all bullies, when someone actually starts to fight back, you back down like the coward you are. Go home, stay in your room, read your comics and make sure you bury that attitude of yours for life. Someone with real firepower might get offended by your acts, and you'll find yourself having to have surgery to remove the shoe that's halfway up your intestines (which the guy wants back, by the way).

Speaking of men with disillusionment, there is another subcategory to this : the arrogant rich kid, or the 'taiming/ambong' people. As what could clearly be seen from the name, they are the young men or women who think that their Daddies' and Mommies' money is their all-access pass to act like complete A-holes. Since they don't have to work to get tons of cash dropped into their laps, they subsequently do not have the maturity to handle their monetary endowment. In other words, they're just immature, childish people. Funnily enough, these people usually regard others who are not at their level of 'perfection' as immature.

These people are just sad. They either don't know, or chooses to not know, that wealth is not the real ticket to having real friends, real love, etc. The 'friends' and 'lovers' of these people are usually the leeches, out to get some of the moolah for themselves. Please, try to realise this :

Money won't get you everything or allow you to act like spoiled children.

Remember, you can't bribe the Angels who write down your sins, or the Angel who'll whip your hide for your patheticness in the grave.

PeeElls and PeeAichs (P.L. & P.H.) are the girls (P.L.) and guys (P.H.) who think they're all that. The people who think that they are God's gift to the opposite sex. They act accordingly, disdaining clothing for skin, refusing to even breath in the direction of someone of the opposite sex who's 'just not attractive enough.. hee hee', who continually rave their 'hotness' or 'handsomeness' to anyone, and i do mean ANYONE. Usually these people are surrounded by like-minded members of their own particular cult, touting each other's virtues like desperate pimps out to make a quick buck. Frequent visitors of public congregation areas and beauty parlours, they could usually be heard talking in their pseudo-gorgeous people lingo, which is usually largely unintelligble to human ears.

I take that comment about pimps back, for fear of offending the real pimps out there. These people are one of the worst of the bunch. One of these days, God just might choose to take what He has given to you back, permanently. I've seen it happen, and it ain't pretty (no pun intended).

Rounding off the list, we have the 'fanatics'. Those sad, sad people who adopt an identity and swears his/her life on maintaining this identity as the definer of his/her whole existence. They walk around shopping complexes displaying their badges of identity, wearing the clothes that make up their chosen genres. In itself, this is no crime. It is your life, hence you can do your own sh.. , ummm, stuff. However, it is when they start to clash with others who criticise their beliefs that it starts to turn just a bit ridiculous.

If the populace allows you to do what you choose, then you can very well accept that you will definitely get static from those who do not agree with your position in life. These people chooses not to listen, instead they choose to react, usually in terms of violence. The members of this category of human stupidity include some football supporters (a club whose name rhymes with 'fool' comes to mind, also a club whose name has two meanings), fans of some music genres and celebrity groupies.

Now, these people are real losers. They have nothing to set them apart from everybody else other than their beliefs, and when the belief is challenged or comes under criticism, they respond with violence, as they're afraid that they'll lose their position within their circle of life if their beliefs are laughed upon. But please, your circle is not invincible. Given the right pressure, your facade of unity and/or anarchy will crack. When that happens my dear readers, prepare to see some real lost souls.

As the nun said to the naked pornstar, 'My, that's a long one.' I think i'll end this here, and let you readers digest my rantings. If you're in agreement, or if you're a hater, please give me a shout out (in the form of a comment, not a tag). All comments are freely accepted, whether positive or derogatory.

We're all entitled to our own loves and hates.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Someday.

2005-02-20T00:50:00.000Z

Listening to N.E.R.D. - Provider

'... So I'm driving this truck down the 95, I pray to God I make it home alive. I don't get pulled over by the man, I just want to make it home to hold your hand... '

Tag replies:

atul5353, Chris, rawini, Huntress - Thanks =)

Sis - ehh, nantila dolok... ada bepost nun kelak, tunggu ja. And my tribute to u nanti ada nun jua.. kumpul material dolok. Hehe =p

What's on my mind tonight?

I did a lot of thinking today, but not really about anything in particular. Of love, of life, of religion, of family, of friends, of the world, i thought of them all. I pray to God daily, in my waking moments and in my dreams, that He would take care and watch over the people in my life, should i not be around to watch over everyone. My prayers go out to the heavens every single night before i sleep, but recently it has gained a newer, more poignant meaning.

As i read some of the sad news that hit the Nightramblings Girls, i was reminded yet again of my mortality and the always presient fact that any one of us could be gone in an instant. There could be no notice, no announcements. A person that we love so much, gone in a heartbeat. How do you come up with an explanation for that? What could you possibly say to the bereaved party to ease their silent suffering?

For once, the argumentative side in my head is silent. I can't find the words to adequately express the grief that i feel myself on the part of those who had lost, let alone capture and frame the grief that they themselves feel.

And so every night, before i drift into unconsciousness, my thoughts always float upwards towards the pictures i have over my bed. Pictures of my family, my friends, my love. I pray to God that He watches over them, guide them in their daily motions, love them as much as i do. Keep them safe from the tragedies of life. However, all these prayers are entirely for a selfish reason.

I won't know what to do if something were to happen to them.

I don't really think about what would happen to myself, my love and prayers go out for those people i love. I'm afraid of the day when i can't protect those that i love anymore, when i am unable to shield them from the vagaries of existence. Its not that i don't trust them to take care of themselves, but i know how the world works a bit too well. Tragedy could strike with the speed of a thunderbolt, and with the all-incapacitating power of one, too.

That is why, whenever i pray at night, i never forget to ask God to take care of everyone when i'm not around anymore.

'... Someday, Someday, this will be over.
We'll raise a family, I'll get a job and I'll be a voter.

And if I die, It will change you.
I watch over a family. But only as an angel.'

My condolences to the family of SB's friend over at Nightramblings over the loss of their son, Ryan.

May God embrace him in His eternal love and mercy.

'... Goodbye beloved one, (do you know what I am?) if you don't see my face no more. I'm a provider, girl i gotta face the streets tonight...'

SeVenStaRs, out.

To someone special, my 156 =)

2005-02-14T12:29:00.000Z

This post is dedicated to someone special, on this day of love's celebration =)

Sayang, i know our first Valentine's Day isn't anything special, since we're not with each other. But know this sayang. To me, everyday with you IS Valentine's Day. Every time I am with you, my life is filled with light, your light. What mere words of mine could do justice to your love? Your love which lifts me up, who carresses me in its soft glow of caring and uninhibited sincerity? What words will suffice to pay tribute to all that you have given me?

The answer to those questions sayang, is nothing, nothing at all. No words could be enough. But for now, all that i am able to say is Thank You, sayang.

Thank You For Loving Me.

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

When the time comes when we'll never have this distance between us again, i will show you how much i am thankful for your love, and how much i love you in return.

Every day, and in every way, i am your man, sayang.

Happy Valentine's Day, my *156*. Love you so much =)

SeVenStaRs, out.

A promise.

2005-02-13T15:29:00.000Z

Listening to Babyface - The Loneliness.

*yawn*

Hello then people, what's happening? Today's been... restive. I've finally had a decent night's sleep in i don't know how many weeks. Football training in the mornings, classes extending to the end of the day, shopping for course textbooks, which has left me virtually penniless...

You know, the usual.

Should i do the replies now?

Baby - Hehe.. awu eh, i'll kill you jua. Sal it'll most probably be your fault. hehe =P

Rawini - I'm older than you? Hehe.. well, i suppose i am older now. Oh and by the way, 'Kau Terangi' is both my and Adhilles' song. I wrote the lyrics, he made the rhythm =)

Lish - Hehe, thanks =) 21 is the official age for being an adult, no? And don't you worry about Missy, i always take good care of her =)

Sis - Awo, udah =P

Bee - No problem, ada ku gitau tu mun siap dah =)

atul5353 - Hehe thanks =) 'Akulah Cintamu' isn't done yet... take your complaints to Adhiles, please. Hehehe =P And thanks for the comments, AND your comments on my Missy's page too =)

Sheena - Hehe.. i've been.. about. Don't you worry, you'll be seeing too much of me very soon =P

LnaLna - Thanks =) and keep visiting, yes? =)

Now, on to the post.

Well, i've been thinking lately about the relationship i'm having with my... wait for it... parents. Different, yes? I've always wondered about whether i have been a good son. Whether the sacrifices of my parents were all worth it. All the money spent on my education. All the expectations on me to do well. Now, i'm not shirking my responsibility as a fillial son or anything, but i'm just afraid that even what i'm doing now will be... insufficient. I know i'm a UK student now, and in some circles, mention the fact that you study in UK and hey presto! All doors unlocked, please pick up your complementary pack on your way in. But is that still enough to prove that i was worth everything?

Now, i know what you're thinking. My being a son to them is enough reason for them to love me and all the rest of the trappings of familydom. But this post isn't about them. Its about me, and my fears. I'm afraid i will never be the son that i wish myself to be, for my parents. Most people would say that me being here, being alive as a son, their son, is enough.

Not for me it is.

I want to be the son who fulfills their dreams, who'll take care of them as they grow older. All those sacrifices, repaid back tenfolds if possible, though i know that's nearly impossible to do, if not all out unattainable. But i'll try, nonetheless. I want to prove that i was worth their care. See, i'm not the type to not acknowledge someone's care & love for me, in fact that's how i got in a few destructive relationships with the fairer sex. But this is my parents. All my efforts wouldn't even be able to start to scratch the iceberg that is their love for me.

Mom, Dad. I know you won't be reading this. But i'll say it here nonetheless, for i have not the courage to say this to you, yet. I'm not ready, nor do i know when i'll be ready to say this. But this is my promise. I won't forget you. I won't be the child who abandons his/her parents after everything they've done. I am your son. And i remember that. I wear the family sigil proudly. I'll be by your side through your sicknesses and your health, to partake in your moments of happiness and of sorrow. I'll be there when at last the both of you grow old and infirm, i'll take care of you through all the ravages of age and time. I'll be there in your final moments, by your side, whispering in your ears of my love for you as we bid the farewell of eternity. To lovingly wrap you in your final accoutrements, and carry the both of you to your final resting places, by my own hands and no one else's, if possible.

From the time of my conception, until even after Time itself ceases to exist.
I am your son.

SeVenStaRs, out.

A Post-Birthday post.

2005-02-05T13:45:00.000Z

Listening to Barry White - Never Ever Gonna Give Ya Up.

Well, yesterday was my birthday. Today i start my first days as a 21 year old. *sigh* I'm a fully-fledged adult now, but i really don't feel any different. I don't even FEEL old. Maybe its because i don't put so much stock in birthdays, yes?

But my heartfelt thanks go to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, a simple message goes a long way for this old, sentimental fool that is myself. I thank you =)

Now, here goes the replies.

Sheena - Thanks and don't worry, its alright =) and i'll get on the recording of my song A.S.A.P., okay? =)

Insomniac - Thank you =) Yeah, i hate those people who doesn't respect another's relationship too. But don't worry, he's been taken care of, of sorts... ;)

Rawini - Keep smiling! =D Smiles is what the world is lacking more and more with each day. I'm alright now, no longer am i so pissed off. Everything's been sorted ;) And thanks for liking the songs =)

Atul5353 - Hehe.. i sorta knew you'd like the songs =) My friend Adhilles says that it might be finished by the end of next week, so when i do get hold of it, i'll be sure to put them here =) And yeah, the guy really is pathetic. You won't BELIEVE how pathetic.

GtConcept - Thanks, and i will =) Post tia the songs, but change my name to SeVenStaRs la... Hehe =p

Haz - Hi, and welcome =) don't worry about the guy, he has a much worse fate than getting circumcised, twice ;) keep commenting, yes? =)

Maria - Hello... who's Bob? *blinks* :¬

Chrissy - Thanks a lot, Chris =) And don't you worry about your *205*, we promise not to hurt him... too much. Ehe =P

Strictly B - My thanks =D And i pray you'll be blessed with whatever it is you're looking for in your life, not to mention happiness and health. Stay bubbly and happy, yes? =D

Cradle - Bam bam-bam-bam, bejagabagababam... thanks, and kau LAGI tuha =P Hahaha =D

Huntress - Thanks, and yeah, you did get it right this time =P hehe but much appreciated anyways, Hunts =)

Baby - Hehe... thanks, sis-in-law =p Take care of my Missy down there in Oman, okay?

'Kalau ada apa2 jadi arah ia ku bunuh kooooooo...'

Hehehe =P

And, speaking of my Missy...

Sayang, thanks a lot for everything that you've done for me. I know you're wondering what exactly do i mean by that, and so i'll tell you. In all truths, i am the luckiest man in the world to have you, sayang. You've breathed new life into my soul, made me realise there's just so much more to life than darkness and despair. You've given me the strength to wake up each day and face the world with my head up, my shoulders straight and my steps firm. Without you in my life, it wasn't a life. Just the shell of a man walking around, without purpose, without direction.

Thanks, sayang =)

It is treasures such as these that i cherish the most out of anything, sayang. These gestures of care and love that has been lacking from my life for so long, the gardens of my soul has grown dank, dusty and lifeless. But then you came along, and you loved me. With a single touch you've mended me, allowed the garden to grow, and flourish.

Without a doubt, i consider myself the luckiest guy in the world, no matter what has happened to me in the past. For i have you as someone whom i know will love me, cherish me and care for me as i am, without regard to my past failures and misgivings. This love alone will sustain me, through whatever hardships that i will face in the future. So long as i have this love, i am unbreakable. And so i'll make sure that i'll do whatever i can to keep you and your love shining down on me =)

Thanks for being mine, sayang. I love you so much.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Songs & my hatred of Ex-es.

2005-01-31T15:45:00.000Z

Listening to F.i.R. - Lydia.

Well, its time to head back to uni, time to learn new things that doesn't exactly pique my interest but what the heck, at least it guarantees a job. While i'd very much prefer working in the music industry, the current 'non-existence' of the industry in Brunei is forcing me to go down a different route. Ah well, beggars can't be choosers.

My sister Zurina recently sent me her new song, 'Aku Masih Cinta', and i've got it here for downloading. Apologies for the sound quality, though. Something went wrong in the encoding of the file, and the byte rate for the song has considerably slowed down, resulting in a not so good sound quality. But it sounds perfect in the CD version, though.

Here's the link -----> Aku Masih Cinta - Zurina

Opinions are welcome, people =)

And oh, as a result of insistent demands *cough atul5353 cough* i'll also post here a demo version of my song, 'Akulah Cintamu' The Slow Version. Its a short 1 minute and 30 seconds, but this is how the song will roughly sound like when its eventually finished.

Here's the link -----> Akulah Cintamu (Slow Version)

Again, comments are welcome =)

Hehe... Atul5353, Rawini, this is for you guys =)

Only the first 25 people will be able to download the songs though, (as its the limit for the server) so its not permanently up here. I'm trying to figure out how to get permanent hosting for my files, so until i do you guys just have to be quick ;)

Now, onto something that's been on my mind for the past week.

Some guy on Friendster has been pestering my Missy with the ardent claims of wanting my Missy back in his life. Now, from that you'd know that this guy's an ex. Of course, being the jealous guy that i am (in a good way, of course ;), i sent him a message questioning his intentions. And do you guys want to know his reply?

'Who do you think you are? You are just her boyfriend. As long as you guys are not married or engaged yet, i still can have her because i still love her.'

Now, i'm not a great fan of violence, but that reply just made me see red. I felt like strapping on my hugeass twin-bladed samurai sword, smear some chicken blood on my cheeks and declare an oath of war on his fool ass. Now just how dense is this guy? After my Missy blocked him from her MSN, after an email filled with prose that had the ultimate meaning 'No!' from her, after all the happy pictures of me and her on her Friendster profile and the letterings in her profile, he still thinks he can get my Missy back? MY Missy?

No oh no, this is not good for my blood pressure levels.

Now, i'd understand if i robbed him of Missy's affection, then he'd have the right to present a case. In that case, i'd be the inconsiderate bastard, not him. But my Missy and this guy broke up loooong before i even met Missy. And as my Missy told me, it was only after me and her were officially a couple did this guy start his shenanigans. And after doing some research of my own, it turns out that I know this guy, in fact i consider him a friend and a good guy. But even then he chooses to mess with me and my girl?

Now, that's just asking for it.

It seems to be the season for backstabbing, eh Sparklin'?

He is so very lucky that i'm all the way over here and he's back home in Bruland. If that weren't the case i'll already be somewhere deep in the forest, slitting a black-livered wood pigeon's throat while whispering his name, and if he's lucky a demon WON'T hear me. The whole entire fury that is myself will then descend down to exact retribution on his foolish, foolish hide.

But then again, clear-thinking prevailed. That, plus my Missy asking me not to make a big deal out of this. And come to think of it, it does take two to tango, no? He could prattle on all he wishes, but if my Missy doesn't even breathe in his direction, it wouldn't materialise as a problem now would it? And my Missy has assured me time and time again that i am the guy she wants to get married, have kids and build a family with. And i do know that, and i trust in her like i trust no other.

So, i relented. Instead, i chose to send him a long, very sweet and understanding email telling him to quit bugging me and my Missy or else suffer the consequences. And since sending that email a couple of days ago, he hasn't replied at all. My barely concealled threats of hellfire and brimstone raining down on him if he chooses to piss me off worked wonders, it seems. It just shows that we should always prefer negotiation over overt acts of violence, no?

That, and some other things which i'll not mention here.

Hehe.. It just shows how far i would go to protect the one person i love so much. But then i'm entitled to protecting myself and the persons under my care, right? Good thing he chose indescretion over a pointless act of valour (at least through his eyes), else this could have escalated to very dangerous proportions, for him that is.

So, the moral of the post?

Never mess with someone else's man/woman, cause you never know what that person's capable of.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Replies.

2005-01-28T13:15:00.000Z

Listening to Akulah Cintamu (Slow Ver. Trial)

Well, exams are out of my hair now, so i guess its safe to blog. Nerve-wracking, those exam times. Thank God i'm done.

Now here are the replies.

GtConcept - Please, post the song =) and watch out for my upcoming songs too, okay? =)

Zephyr - Now which pic did you stole?? Hehe.. just as long as you don't use them for nefarious purposes, its alright... and royalties, hmm? ;) Sure, link away.. and i'll link you too =)

Baby - Well, its a story oft-retold, in various guises and modes, but it happens. I've went through it, my friends went through it or is going through it... it happens.

Rawini - Thanks for your comments =) And the green was because of the main pic i asked a friend of mine to incorporate into the site's design... plus green is good =) I'm gonna link you if you don't mind? ;)

atul5353 - Hehe =D actually i'm listening to a trial version of it right now =) Me and Adhilles have managed so far to come up with the two versions i was talking about, both the fast version and the slow version. While i think both are very, very nice, i must say i'm in love with the slow version... Adhilles managed to create a melody which is both sad and hopeful at the same time... which i think is absolutely perfect for the song =) Well, i don't know when the both of them will be finished, but rest assured i'll be telling everyone =)

Now, that was long.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Comments, anyone? =)

2005-01-24T17:42:00.000Z

Listening to Radiohead - Creep

Well, this'll be my last post for at least a couple of days.. i have two exams looming very soon, so i needs to do me studying. But anyway, i have some news. Another one of my songs has been produced! *weeeee* Things are really moving along aren't they? =D

Now this song though, its a bit of a sad one. Its about someone who is in love with another, but whose love isn't even known by the other party, let alone reciprocated. Simply put, its a case of the 'secret admirer', but on a grander scale.

Well, here are the lyrics to my latest song, 'Akulah Cintamu'. Tell me what you think of it, okay? =)

Akulah Cintamu

Ku hanya bisa menatapmu,
dari sudut ruang hatiku,
harusnya ku melupakanmu,
tapi ku tak berdaya,
menafikan cintaku.

Ku hanya bisa mendengarmu,
riang bersama sahabatmu,
harusnya ku mengenalimu,
tapi ku tak berdaya,
rapati indahmu.

Aku hanya bisa,
teruskan hidup,
kau tiada mengenali ku,
tapi, akulah cinta mu.

Ku hanya bisa melihatmu,
Tangisi kesedihan dirimu,
harusnya ku mendamaikanmu,
tapi ku tak berdaya,
teguhkan diriku.

Ku hanya bisa angankanmu,
disini mencintai diriku,
harusnya ku nyatakan cinta,
tapi kau tak berdaya,
tuk tinggalkan dirinya.

Aku hanya bisa,
teruskan hidup,
kau tiada mengenali ku,
tapi, akulah cinta mu.

Tapi kau tiada berdaya,
kepadaku kau percaya.

So what do you guys think? =)

Me and Adhilles are going to produce two different versions to this song, one will have a slow & sad rhythm to it, whilst the other will have a more upbeat melody, i.e. a 'happy' melody. Hehe =D i think its pretty interesting for a song with sad lyrics to have a 'happy' melody. Well, we'll just wait and see what develops with the song, alright?

Don't forget to comment on the lyrics, people =D Thanks.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Me against the Muse.

2005-01-23T18:59:00.000Z

Listening to Peter Pan - Mimpi Yang Sempurna

Well, i am feeling a bit better right now. Playing football has sure recharged some of the tired cells in my body a wee bit. Now i have to get my head down and do some more revising for my two remaining exams. I have to get that momentum of mine going again.

Now, replies to tagboard comments and stuff i read on other blogs pertaining to myself.

Huntress - Sorry bah, ngaleh maseh kamek tok and masih gik kamek stresss sal peksa tok.. ibohlah meraju2 tok bah, lelah kamek kan mujuk kitak koo... hehe =P Anyway, yeah i know what you mean, and its driving me nuts. Life is no such thing when all our moves are according to a predetermined plotline. But we can always do our best to change our futures ourselves, right? Keep smiling, girl =)

Strictly B - Hehe... well, that has been my writing style for ages, now. Guess its the byproduct of reading too many books. Maybe i should get back to book writing again, hmm? What do you think? =)

Lish, atul5353 - Thanks a lot, i do need oodles of luck to pass my exams, much less get a decent score =P And i'm glad you guys like the song i made, it was a labour of love anyway, so its no biggie =) Thanks you guys.

Chris - I'm happy you loved the song. Its always nice to hear about people liking your work, so i really don't mind. If i produce any more songs, you'll be one of the first to know ;-)

Well, right now i'm in some sort of lyric-writing kick, i've been writing lyrics to songs non-stop for the past couple of days. Of course, it is a slow business after all, 'cause i don't want my lyrics to just be empty words. Currently i'm also trying to figure out a guitar lead for 'Kau Terangi'. All this while juggling two exams and their subsequent revision. Ah, how i wish i had a couple of 'Minimes' to help out with menial things such as cooking, cleaning and such. But think of the havoc of having more than one 'MEs' running around. Loose.

Apocalypse Now, anyone?

Anyway, i can't explain this kick of mine in writing lyrics. The words just continually pour out from my head uninhibited. And when i refuse to write when i have more pressing matters to attend to, they pound the insides of my skull with their mini-fists, threatening me and cajoling me, throwing streams of abuse at me and positively begging me to write them down and give them a reality. So, naturally i submitted to their tireless heckling. Currently i have eight new songs, which should keep Lady Muse and her inspiration minions at bay. I don't know how long THAT will last, though, i just hope i can get my exams out of the way before i start writing stuff again.

So now i have a total of nine lyrics, with one lyric already established as a fully functioning song. Maybe the reason why the Lady is pestering me so much is that she wants me to have at least 18 songs, which constitutes an actual album. I'll admit, the thought of creating and producing my own album does sound tremendously appealing, but with the current support for local music in Brunei i just don't think i can go too far with this. Even if i do have enough number of songs, i don't think i'll have enough resources to record them the way I want them to sound, i.e. proper music instruments, mixers, rehashers, monitors and all of them fangdaggled pieces of equipment needed to produce an album. Believe me, i've experience in the music industry and it takes a whole lot of effort, not to mention the all-important capital, namely $$$.

Maybe for now, i'll continue writing and producing songs for the fun of it. What do you guys think?

SeVenStaRs, out.

The ramblings of a very TIRED man whose body refuses to sleep.

2005-01-21T02:32:00.000Z

Listening to - the sounds of a city in sleep.

Ever felt like you're at the edges of a circle, where you're just moving along with the passage of time and nothing stands still for too long? You know, those times when you have absolutely no idea what's in store for you, what lies below the heatwave of the distant horizon? Or are you one of those people who travels everywhere with a map, compass and survival kit handy?

Sometimes, i get that feeling. Of not having much influence on deciding your own paths through life, yeah i get that. Sometimes it strikes me with all the subtlety of an elephant running amok. Somehow i do sometimes get the feeling that i'm headed down a predetermined life for me which is not of my own choosing. I lie awake at nights, thinking of the choices i made and thinking, 'did i really have a choice after all?'.

In everything i do, i seem to be able to intimate the outcomes of each choice that i make, though it is usually too deeply embedded in my subconscious for me to know if i am right. Only after things are done will i turn back and say, 'I knew this was going to happen. Why did i do it anyway?'. Why am i here now, doing something i hate and being far away from the people i love?

To quote a line from my journal, (the kind you use a pencil/pen/whatever with?

'Cloaked in indifference , i walk alone through the night, waiting for that sudden heavenly thunderbolt to sear the life from my cracked facade, so that i could breath in the sweet smell of freedom.'

I'm sorry this post is depressing, but i'm bummed out because of my exams. And they're not done with me yet, which is grinding me even futher into the mud.

Anyway.

I have to get some sleep. Two straight days (Well, more like two and three-quarters) of no sleep is beginning to tell. I'm beginning to look like some old, venerable Panda-like figure on LSD; blood-shot eyes, comatose expression, slacking of the mouth at the edges, you name the cliche and i would probably have it. And since i yawned almost continuously for the past half an hour or so, i think my body chemistry is urgently trying to tell me something.

So, i'll sleep now. Just don't let any thoughts of choices near me, or i'll snap into weeny tiny pieces.

Missing the best decision i ever made,

SeVenStaRs

Illuminate.

2005-01-17T16:35:00.000Z

Listening to Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

Well, i'm done with my coursework *phew* just hope everything will go well, and the web pages will work. Now i've got to hunker down and memorise 8 pages of essay answers. Damned university life =P

Now, initial replies to tagboard comments.

Sis - Tekan ja rah link dibah ia... yang nya madah Click! nun.. ia file nya. Pas ia ada website baru kluar nun.. ada nya mendownloadkan for u.. apa website simpur tok tek? Nyuruh orang pegi websitenya sik madah apa websitenya tok... apa raaaaaa =P

(Forgive me if none of you people understood that, its in colloquial Sarawakian, which i use at home with my family =)

Chris - Thanks a lot =) I don't know when i'll be recording it, though. I don't know when i myself will record it, but I'll probably record the song with me and Adi singing it together, since he does know how to do backing vocals. And by the way, my Missy loved it, she listens to it every day... which is enough to make me happy all day long too =D

Insomniac - No, that wasn't me singing, it was the music composer, Adi. I wrote the lyrics though, and i'll probably be recording my version of it with Adi. Thanks for saying its brilliant, not bad for a first timer, no? =)

Anyways, tell your friends about it, your mom, your dad, your siblings, your pet cat, whoever. I want to have a general opinion of my writing, and to see whether i should continue to write (and record) my own songs. Shameless self-advertising here, sorry ;D

SeVenStaRs, i'm outta here =)

The Downloadables.

2005-01-17T13:02:00.000Z

Listening to VE - Kerna Sayang.

Hey you all, this is going to be quick cause i have to go somewhere and get my coursework done =S Anyways, remember my song 'Kau Terangi'? Well, thanks to Insomniac i finally figured how to put it here for download! Weee =D

Anyway, this won't last long here, as Insomniac told me... you guys only have a couple of days to download this song. So quickly, people, limited stocks only! =P

So here's the link ------> Click!

Adi (the music composer) is the guy you'll be hearing in this one. I don't know when i can record this song myself, but when i do record it, i know what to do now =D Thanks a bunch, Insomniac =D

Enjoy the song, people. I'm outta here =)

Iris.

2005-01-14T11:59:00.000Z

Listening to - Nothing much.

Again, nothing to blog about, but here i'll post what i think is the coolest song in the world.

Video code provided by MusicVideoCodes.com

Enjoy, people =)

Just because.

2005-01-11T20:01:00.000Z

Listening to - Myself humming.

I have nothing to blog about, so i'll just post this here.

I miss you...

SeVenStaRs, out.

One more thing...

2005-01-09T19:27:00.000Z

Still listening to - Kau Terangi (trial 2)

Oh yeah, something i forgot to mention. People were trying to figure out why there are 18 links in my next-to-previous post. Well, here's the reason down below. But before that, let me explain how i came about with the number 18.

I've been playing football for many years now (10, to be exact) and for most of those years i have always worn number 18. I'm a fan of number 18 for some reason, especially in football, its a superstitious streak which i have been unable to shake off. The number 18 has always been a prominent figure in my life, for many important and not frivolous reasons. Take my word for it, 18 has always been there for me.

My number is 402, after my birthday on the Forth of February. My Missy's number is 156, after her birthday on the Fifteenth of June. 'Our' number is *402156*, naturally ;)

Soooo...

Check this equation out.

"4 + 0 + 2 + 1 + 5 + 6 = 18"

Freaky, no? It might be of no special significance to you guys, but it sure as hell is important to me. Its like God has been pointing me to her all the time without my realising it, telling me that she's the one who complements me in every way.

Now i'm feeling the pangs of missing her. All this, plus listening to my (newly recorded, much better) song for her. I think i'll stop here now, 'cause i don't want to go under by missing my other half so much.

Again,

SeVenStaRs, out.

Understand me(n).

2005-01-09T18:17:00.000Z

Listening to - Kau Terangi (trial 2)

Exam time. Crunch time. Whatever. I still hate exams, especially the kinds where one tiny question can have so many answers, and you have to work extra hard for them.

Bloody stupid, i say.

Anyway, i read something over at Insomniac & Co's website on men. What we men are and what we want. Well, let me see if i can garner up some of my psychobabble thinking on this infamous topic.

Yes, us men are confusing. Yes, half of the time no one (not even most males, actually) knows what men want. Well, i'll say it here, the ultimate answer to every question: it depends.

What type of male are we talking about? The drink-swilling, sports fanatic slob? The cool, cultured, haughty metro? The soft spoken, sensitive sort? Or a mix of different personalities rolled into one package? What?

Like women, men have their own culture, their own way of thinking, their own needs and wants. When women start to compare different men, they tend to compare the men with the women, which they of course understand more and identify with. But that's like comparing a stilletto and a steel-toed boot. There's just a wealth of different identities, different dramatis personae to take into account and to separately examine, understand and judge.

Just like women ;)

But as with all things, there are several key 'identity markers' all men share. Here i'll just simplify things a bit, and take the normal, everyday Joe Schmoe. What identifies him as a male, and what markers does he share with the rest of his male brethren?

(Note : i didn't include the Gay Man in this identification thing, that's just a whole different kettle of fish altogether, with different subsets of rules thrown into the mix.)

One thing : he loves his freedom. The heady feeling of wind rushing in his hair as he zooms down a highway in a convertible or Harley Davidson without a care in the world. THAT feeling. The worst thing you can do to a male is to deprive him of his (in his eyes) God-given right to be his own self, to go wherever he pleases, whenever he pleases. Of course, too much of this isn't a good thing, which leads us to point number 2...

Second point : he craves acknowledgement. To know there's someone out there for him, to know someone is thinking of them and generally caring for his wellbeing. Notice how males generally take care of their parents, specifically the mother? The kind of care and attention as only a female can give, that is a key point in the existence of a male. Without this care he becomes a drifter, never settling, always on the move in search of something which he knows he lacks but which he doesn't know what. For this type of care usually resides in a male's subconscious, rarely at the forefront of his being. Generally, this subconscious need transfers itself as he grows older, for example to a spouse.

Third point : He is a showboat. He loves it when people comment on his physical wellbeing, his talents in something, whatever. This is closely linked to the second point and is also a trait shared by the female.

Forth point : He hates things which tie him down. This doesn't mean he shirks responsibility wantonly and freely, but items which continually drags at his mentality will gradually drag him down. Case in point : ever notice how male sons usually reacts violently to motherly nagging? He knows the mother is doing the nag because she loves him, yet he hates it nonetheless, which makes him feel guilty, a feeling men hate with a passion.

Fifth point : He is a pragmatic. Those type of men with a romantic, rebellious streak who's always rushing off somewhere and doing some dangerous, risky business, he's usually a very rare breed. Once, in the days of the pioneer, when the world was new and exciting, maybe these types of males were abundant, but nowadays they're gradually dying out. Generally speaking, men are sloggers; they move through life thinking out & analysing things, especially when it comes to financial topics and life in general. Be warned though, sometimes they can go berserk and do something totally unexpected.

Some quick, short points : men like gadgets, things that make them sweat (use your imagination here ;), they don't like showing their true feelings (refer to my post about the Oyster), they don't 'do' chick flicks, they actually love shopping (just not shopping for female things) and they are usually argumentative.

Of course, all those points i made doesn't necessarily apply to all men, nor do all points exist in every male. Maybe a few points in one guy, another couple of points in another, it varies. So what does this tell all of us?

Men vary between each other.

So it isn't really fair to compare one man with another, just as its not fair to compare one woman with another. All of us lead different lives and had different upbringing, different experiences, different ways of thinking. That's what makes us all so interesting, so colourful and so lovably idiotic all at the same time. So how do we get about our lives with each other without having our hands permanently fixed around each other's throat?

Understanding, of course. Try and understand your man (or woman) and his motives. Think on what may have caused him to act in a certain way, why he does this and that, why he never lifts the seat up when he pees (which is another very controversial debate in some circles), why everything.

One very basic tenet of relationships which works on ALL men : if you understand him, he's yours. Another pillar of relationship virtues is flexibility. If you complement and be able to understand his every move, his way of thinking, his turn-ons and offs, he'll be yours to keep. Usually, the males will respond to your understanding and respect of his ideologies, and will be able to cater to your needs as well.

But then, maybe he won't. As i said, it depends.

Figure your man out, and see what happens.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Singles?

2005-01-04T16:06:00.000Z

Listening to Dr. Evil - Its A Hard Knock Life.

Hehe.. Well, atul5353, you're right. There are 18 links in the post, since i did say ''Words with Links'' didn't i? ;) And sure, you win yourself some chocolates. Find me the next time i visit UBD, which will probably be in the summer. Hehe =P

And thanks for the kind words about me and my Missy too =)

Oh oh, and by the way, can anyone tell me WHY its 18? Extra chocolates...? Hehe =D

Sis - Sorry! I forgot all about replying, you know how i am. I'll email a reply as soon as possible, 'kay? Lots of love, and send my love to Mom and Dad =)

Speaking of my sis, people, she'll be releasing a single (as in song single) in the next month or so. Yes, she is a Bruneian singer, in my opinion she is one of the best Bruneian singers out there. She's been in the Bruneian music scene since 1995, when she won the ''Bintang RTB'' competition. So she's definitely NOT a newbie.

Below is a pic of her soon to be single cover:

People, do me a favour and pick one up for yourselves when it comes out. Knowing my sister as well as i do, I definitely believe that it'll be worth your money, trust me =) I haven't heard the single personally, though, since i'm all the way over here. But i'll do a review as soon as she sends me a copy of her single.

Hehe.. i wonder if i could be releasing a single too? Maybe if i join AF3 this year i could get the exposure.

Ha.. dream on, boy. Dream on.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Sayang ;)

2005-01-02T01:14:00.000Z

Hey Syg... =)

The days i spent with you in Cardiff seems so short now i'm back in Manchester... already i am missing you so much i can't sleep. How i wish i can be with you all the time and be there for you all day, every day.

Every single day i wake up and remember your smile, every moment i dream of having you in my arms and never letting go. I am forever counting the seconds until i can see you again, and be with you, holding hands and staring into your eyes that promises me so much, shows me so much love and care that i can't imagine living without you by my side.

Be good, sayang =) Remember that now, even though we're separated by a distance so great, i'll make sure that we will have the rest of our lives to be together, loving each other and never being apart again =)

I love you sayang =) From then, now until forever, i remain yours,

SeVenStaRs 402

P.S. Count the number of words with links in this post ;) Did you get 18? Who figures out first why there are 18 links in this post gets, um... i dunno. Chocolates? That good?

A quick post... with pictures.

2004-12-31T20:39:00.000Z

Listening to - Nothing in particular.

This won't be a proper post, since you guys know what i'm up to and i really haven't got that much time. Already i hear people screaming out my name and going ''Oiii!! jalan!!''

*sigh* i'm the happiest when i'm with my Missy... =)

So here goes, i'm just going to be replying to the various comments left in my tagboard.

Huntress - Yes yes, i know replying to tagboard messages is not blogging, but i AM busy with some very important people as you very well know =p Anyway, have a great New Year to you too, and take care of yourself, wherever you are =)

Insomniac - I'll be getting a new microphone and some recording programmes soon, so expect an email from me ok? I trust you'll know what to do with it =) Have a happy New Year, and thanks again for helping me out with my entry into the blogging world =)

atul5353 - A Happy New Year to You too =) Keep tagging yeah? And when i get back i'll probably link you, if you don't mind... ;)

Chris - Yeap, I'm in Fun Fun Fun as we speak =P *getting an annoyed look from someone* *cringes* Hehe.. =D thanks a lot Chris, have a happy New Year to you too and may you and your guy just get closer and closer (if that were possible=P) come this New Year.

On the song - Well, i will be recording it soon, and with Insomniac's help i'll probably be able to post it online if anyone wants to take a listen to me singing *sarcasm* hehe =P And just maybe, when i know my way around this place, i'll post some more of my stuff online, just for the sake of sharing =)

For everyone who reads my blog, stumbled across it or whatever - Have a Happy New Year 2005, may God bless every single one of you and spare a minute of prayer for the victims of the Asian Tsunami Disaster.

And just because... - Since i've never posted a pic of myself here and knowing you Internet savvy people, you've all already known how i look like. So there goes my anonymity. =P But who ever said that the Internet's a high security vault, either?

Sooo... here are some pics of me and my Missy in Cardiff.

So the gorgeous lady at the top of the pic is Missy and the ugly mug at the bottom is me. =P

Some more coming up ;)

A bit blurry, but i think its artistic =P

One of many characteristics we both share? Hehe =P

Me and her while shopping in Cardiff. The guy in the back is my B.I.A. Fadhlan.

As you can see, i have a thing for black and white pictures. When i'm doing photography work my medium's usually black and white. I dunno, it just looks good.

Enjoy the pics, and have a Happy New Year =)

SeVenStaRs, out.

Simon Cowell.

2004-12-25T14:59:00.000Z

Listening to Kau Terangi.

You guys ever heard of this song? Well, i'll be surprised if you guys did. 'Kau Terangi' is a song that i composed myself, with the music arrangements done by my friend Adi from Middlesbrough. My thanks dude, you sure captured the emotion i wanted to convey with this song =)

'Kau Terangi' when directly translated (or transliterated for you linguistic buffs) means 'You Brighten', but that's a pretty crappy translation. A more accurate way to translate the song would be 'You Illuminate'. This is the first time one of my songs have been actually transcribed to actual music form, so i'm happy =D I was encouraged by the favourable responses i got from my friends on the lyrics i've written to ask Adi (who's a music Adept) to compose the rhythm for the song.

A brief synopsis of the song : In simple terms, its about a guy singing about a girl he fell in love with. Sounds familiar? ;) Of course it does, i got the inspiration for this song by staring at a picture of Missy for hours on end. When the inspiration started to flow, so did the words came from my typing fingers. Anyway, going back to the synopsis, the guy is attributing his change and new outlook on life to her, similarising (is that a word?) her to a shooting star illuminating his way forwards to her.

Anyway, enough of that. Here's the lyrics, hope no one plagiarises my own written work. If anyone does, may they rot in the very bowels of the lowest layers of burning hell.

Kau Terangi

Setelah kau hadir disini,
tiada mungkin ku berpaling darimu.
Kerna cintamu yang satunya ku perlu,
dihidup ini.

Cinta kita ini,
Bagaikan sesuatu yang terindah.
Tiada nyanyian atau puisi,
Yang dpt menyatakan kepentinganmu,
Kepadaku disini.

Pernah sesekali ku berfikir,
adakah cintaku mampu,
menjadi potret indah yang terukir,
menjelaskan cintaku padamu.

Hanya inilah janjiku padamu,
Setakat mana yang ku mampu.
Hanya untukmu cintaku,
Tiada lagi yang lain.
Hanya dirimu.

Kau memahami keadaan diri ini.
Dengan perlahan kau redakan tangisku,
gelap yang mengaburi ruang tidurku,
kau terangi.

Ketibaanmu disisiku,
bagaikan sesuatu yang ajaib.
Bagaikan bintang perantauan,
yang menyinari langkahku,
walau kemana pun ku tuju.

I think i'll give a transcription of this song here too, right into English. Just in case. But i apologise if i don't do a good job of translating.

You Illuminate.

When you are here,
I'll never turn away from you.
For your love is the only thing i need,
In this life.

Our love,
Is something so beautiful.
No songs or prose,
Could show your importance to me,
Here, right now.

Sometimes i sit and think,
Is my love enough?
To become a portrait carved of beauty,
To explain my love to you.

This is my promise to you.
The only thing in my power to do.
My love is only for you.
No one else.
Only you.

You understand myself.
Slowly you wipe away my tears.
The darkness that covers my bedroom,
You Illuminate.

Your arrival by my side,
Is something magical.
Like a shooting star,
You light the steps of my journey,
wherever i am to go.

The English may sound a bit funky, but trust me, it sounds much better in Malay ;)

So what do you guys think? Is the song any good, or not? Hehe.. this might sound like a sales pitch, but if enough people give a good response to the song i just might be persuaded to post a downloadable file of the song (with me singing *shudders*) here for you guys to judge.

Be gentle, guys. Talentless fool here.

Anyway, i would be willing to post the song itself here, if someone points me in the right direction, i.e. tell me how to do it, cause i have no clue.

SeVenStaRs, out. Have a Merry Christmas everyone =)

Solve a riddle, get a prize.

2004-12-21T02:58:00.000Z

Listening to - My friend singing in the background.

My B.I.A. Fadhlan is here from Scotland, and he's been tearing the house up. I think i'll just shoot him with a tranquilizer gun later, and leave him to sleep for a while to work off his 'hyperness'.

Tommorow i'll be bringing him around Manchester, giving him the grand tour and such. All this while waiting for my Missy to arrive, when there newly arises a possibility that she MIGHT NOT come to Manchester to visit me. Ah, how that thought pains me.

How did this come around, you ask? Well, since she's visiting her brother in Wales, which is a three hour train ride from Manchester, plus the brother being broke and all, PLUS him not allowing her to travel to Manchester alone, AND since i can't travel due to coursework restrictions...

All that adds to one hell of a conundrum for me to solve.

I have no idea what i'll do if she doesn't visit me here in Manchester. I'll probably go all mental knowing that she's somewhere relatively closeby and i can't see her. I'll probably would risk my restrictions just to be with her for a short while...

Damn it, i better not say anymore, i'm afraid i might jinx things. Nauzubillah... *knocks on wood*

On a happier note, i want to wish my friend Lady Jen well on her recent engagement to her boyfriend. I'm happy for you guys, and i hope you guys'll be content together =)

Well, i think i'm gonna get to bed. After i kick my friend off it, of course. I WILL NOT share a bed with another guy, B.I.A. or otherwise. Not my cup of tea if you know what i mean.

Night people, SeVenStaRs signing out.

Tired & Spent part 3

2004-12-19T15:34:00.000Z

Listening to Siti Nurhaliza with Ahmad Dhani - Takkan Ada Cinta Yang Lain.

Now this is my song of the week, just like my Missy.. ;) Ahmad Dhani is a fantastic songwriter. His work is deep, thoughtful and just so damned good. Wish i could emulate him, but i haven't reached that skill level yet =p

Hello people, *ducks the flying complaints* sorry for the absence but its the holidays. A barrage of people visiting and ensuing chaos in logistics (i.e. where they're going to sleep) which we solved a couple of hours later upon their arriving (i.e. we didn't sleep.) didn't really help my blogging carreer. I wasn't in my room even HALF the time. But its okay now, they're going home later tonight. No more late nights for me for a while.

But then, one of my B.I.A.s is coming tommorow for a visit from the highlands of Scotland. *groans*

Well, its the holidays. No more work for me, at least for a while. After a couple of weeks wallowing away in relaxing i have to get my website design coursework sorted. So, really no long holiday for me, and if you add that to the amount of time needed to study for the exams come January...

I. Am. Going. To. Be. So. Dead.

What have i been up to all this time? Well, aside from playing host, i've been involved in footie, dinners, eatouts, library work, whatever. Social life booming so sudden. I haven't been at the house much, there's just so many things i have to do. And naturally, i'm tired out. I still haven't got a proper night's sleep yet, and i have to clean up my room *shudders at the prospect* before my B.I.A. gets here, not to mention a certain person whom i prize highly among all others, Missy...

Oh Lord, please give me strength.

-Totally unrelated-

People, go here. Download the file that says 'Orang_brunei.ZIP'. You won't regret it, i promise. Its so funny. =p

-Back to Reality-

Well, i'm off. See ya people later.

SeVenStaRs, out.

Space.

2004-12-13T13:07:00.000Z

Listening to Anuar Zain - Mungkin

I. Am. Killing. Time. Well, three hours to be exact till my tutorial at 4, and its only one o'clock now. *Sigh* =( I have bits and pieces of work to do, particularly a page on Sentence Processing for my Psycholinguistics presentation tommorow... but i'm a bit stuffed on writing ideas.

Well, at least formal writing ideas.

So, i'm just gonna blog. About stuff that is just currently floating in this head of mine, until i can get my writing brain sorted out.

Right now i'm a computing cluster in my Uni's library, looking at some pics of people on the Net. Funny how some people willingly enough post pics of themselves in 'compromising' situations on that most public of areas, the Internet. I don't really care about the Westerners, they're all right with stuff like that as we all know. But its the people of my home that's provoking a bit of thought in my brain. Check out the Friendster pics of some Bruneians, girls in particular.

I'm not being a prude, and i'm certainly not squeamish with that sorta thing. But something just doesn't ring right with all that exhibitionism going on. Maybe they have issues, i don't know and i certainly don't care. But i do wonder what the hell they're trying to prove with all that.

But hey, i don't give a damn. Its your space, do what you will with it. You can post butt naked pics of yourself for all i care. If it gets you the attention you crave, then more power to ya. I have no problems with it. In fact, go out and do it. I'd like to see the people who'd dare to, anyway.

Now i'm a bit spaced out, and i have no idea what to do next. I really don't feel like going to the tutorial later. I might as well get back home, sleep off this fatigue of mine (i woke up at 6 A.M. this morning... *bleagh* =( work issues needed attending) and work my butt off later on tonight.

In fact, that's exactly what i'm gonna do.

I'm off, people.

Some things.

2004-12-13T01:54:00.000Z

Just a quick post, cause i have to wake up early tommorow.

I just read something over at their site which makes me a bit sad. One of the writers is going to celebrate her guy's birthday, which is today (Monday). She's all worried on what to do, what to buy for him, etc etc.

Me, i just think its nice that she even remembers her guy's birthday. Want to know why?

For the past nineteen years of my life, nobody has remembered my birthday. Not even my family. It'll be like a few days later after my birthday, and then my sis will go 'Eh? Isn't your birthday in this month?' My B.I.As are hopeless with that too, so i stopped expecting anything from them. My friends are the same as well.

So no birthday presents for me, no 'Happy Birthday' card, no wishes for long age and prosperity. My birthday will just roll by without anyone noticing. Even i sometimes forget my own birthday. It's like, i'll be doing some stuff in the evening or something after class and then when i look at the calendar, i'll go 'Eh, its my birthday today'.

Last year, my housemates did remember, and i was so touched by it. They even bought me a birthday gift, a Zippo Hard Rock Cafe lighter which i still keep in the original box. I'm not going to use it, its just a bit too precious to me. Its probably the first birthday gift i got.

Sometimes, i envy those groups of people celebrating a birthday. I wonder sometimes how it feels to have people remember your birthday every single year and celebrate it without fail.

I feel a bit sad now, but i'll get over it. I guess i'm used to people forgetting about me.

Good night, SeVenStaRs signing out.

The ego has landed.

2004-12-07T15:04:00.000Z

Listening to Hasnol - Laguku Untukmu

I have a fever. Of all the things to get over here, it had to be a fever, one of the most annoying things to EVER get. My body aches, my throat feels like raw meat, i haven't developed a temperature yet but i know i will, very soon. Like tonight, most probably. Good thing i've finished and handed in one of my coursework today, which has a value of 50% of the entire course. Close escape or what? =p

Anyway, i decided to stay at home today and try to ride out this wave of unhealthiness. In the meantime, though..

Thanks to everyone for the encouraging tags about my last post, but its okay you all. What needed to be done has been done, and i have nothing more for them. Sufficient to say they've got what they wanted, and i've been permanently, shall we say 'disfigured' by them, if not physical then it must be mental. Forget about it, you people. I'll survive =)

One thing that has been peeving me a lot these days is one single thought that has so far refused to budge itself from the recesses of my mind. Its about the male, the female and a small, three-lettered word called 'ego'. Bear with me while i go into another one of my psychobabble.

Males are always accused of having ego, of letting ego get the best of them, letting it influence their lives and usually letting the ego ruining it. Well, i have no reservations about that. Us males do have ego, its a form of pride. Though its an unhealthy sort of pride, in small amounts it is necessary so that the man could actually call himself that: a man.

One thing that bugs me though, is the womenfolk. Like it or not people, you guys have ego too. Its not necessarily a male affliction, women are the carriers of this most terrible three-lettered malady too. But no... a lot of women i know (even my own mother... tsk tsk) deny this fault as being a womanly character as well as a manly character. But i know that women as well as men has their own respective egos, and others do too, even those who choose not to believe. I don't even need to back up what i'm saying with evidence, because any female who reads this post will know, even at least on a subconscious level, that what i'm saying is true.

Ego is a human trait, not an exclusively male trait. So when i watch a movie, and a woman in it goes off in a huff, saying ''Ah! Men and their egos!'' i feel that people have an obscured sense of the purpose of that word. I feel like standing up and shouting out 'Oi! Women have ego too ya know, not just us males!', but i didn't want to get pelted by rocks by the mostly unopen-minded women around me.

And [here's the clincher] if any of you guys [male & female included] deny that you haven't got ego in you, then you'll be lying, because then you would either be a perfect soul or a subhuman, i.e. less than human. Ego is a perfectly normal part of the human persona, it signifies a bag full pride of accomplishment, pride of perfection. If that bag never gets stung, never gets bruised then we'll never move forward. We'll stay the way we are, for better or for worse. And the latter seems more likely in the view of current world affairs, right?

I'll admit, i have ego. Maybe bagfuls of the stuff. Why can't you guys out there [especially those who still believes that ego has a penis] admit that?

Its a part of being human. Are you?

[Oh, one last thing. Not admitting that you have ego is actually a subconscious admittance in itself, so think carefully before you people out there start to flood my page with derogatory comments.]

[And another thing. The same argument can be reversed and applied to the word 'vanity' too, which i know is not an exclusively female trait. Enter the phenomenon known as 'The Metrosexual'. So people, i am NOT being unfair here, just stating out my objective views, that's all. Now put that rock down =p]

The 'them'.

2004-12-04T14:05:00.000Z

Listening to The Wallflowers - One Headlight

I'm here to kill time until football. Until then, bear with my ramblings. Ha =p

Last night i went with a couple of my housemates to watch Julianne Moore's new movie 'The Forgotten'. It was a thought-provoking movie, to use a cliched phrase. But it was, really. The movie really makes me ponder whether we are truly alone in this universe or not.

Oops, that was a spoiler.

Anyways, i really don't have much to say. But i'll just keep sitting in front of my PC with my keyboard in my hands, hoping something would crop up in this head of mine.

*some time passes by*

Great, i've been sitting in front of my PC for 10 minutes now and nothing's coming out. I think i'll just let my fingers loose and let them type whatever they want to.

Here it is, the final indulgence,

The trap by which you shall fall.

Everything's fading, you're just an image,

Your memory a bitter affront,

Your life no longer intertwined,

Your welfare no longer my concern.

Oh dear. I don't think i'll be doing that again. Another male defense mechanism croping up. Wanna know what this one is?

It is said that it is not only the mind that holds memories, in fact it is your whole body that has the capability to retain some intimations from its past. And even when you have blocked off a particular memory from your mind, the rest of your body still remembers. It is akin to the chemical secretions seratonin and adrenaline taking over; your mind doesn't really control you at that point, its nearly an automated mechanical impulse.

Here my fingers are remembering something which i have tried so hard to blank out; the memories of a friend. Someone who has crushed me so completely with their delightfully devious subterfuge that it was nearly possible for me to retain my sanity. Liar, traitor, i can choose any names that will suit these 'friends' very well. But i will not, even if i am a person driven chiefly by emotions.

I guess i still remember the time before the lies permeated the truth.

That's one of my greatest weaknesses. Even if a person(s) has wronged me greatly, i still remember 'the them' before it occured, the person that they were before they maligned themselves in my eyes.

Am i wrong to remember what they were before they stabbed me in the back?

The oyster, the clam or the pearl?

2004-12-02T10:37:00.000Z

Listening to 5.10 a.m. - Yuki

I've just woken up, and i'm a bit dizzy. I'm probably gonna be skipping all of my classes today, which makes me feel guilty. But, if i have this splitting headache , what can i do?

Well, i've taken a tankard of panadol, and hopefully this headache will subside by the time my Writing Systems class comes a-rolling. I really don't want to miss any more classes...

'Cobalah, cobalah tuk mengerti keadaan ini. Aku rapuh, aku rapuh saat kau tinggalkan...'

Deez wants me to go to this hip-hop theatre rendition of Scarface thing with him tonight, and i guess i'll be going. I loved Scarface, it was cool. £9 be the fare. How i wish i was related to Bill Gates in some way.

Crap, i've read the previous sentence and i'm not making sense.

'Semusim, t'lah ku lalui, t'lah ku lewati, tanpa dirimu. Tetapi, bayang wajahmu, masih tersimpan, dihati.'

I'm missing my Missy. You girls out there who reads my blog, here's a secret. Us males actually feel the distance more acutely than females, and though we might not look it, its killing us all the more quicker 'cause males are the infamous 'clams', always shutting up about things when it hurts. So we keep things buried deep inside, and there's usually no way for us to release that pressure. Obviously i've found my outlet, but hows about all those other males who hasn't discovered the gift for blogging?

Isn't it funny that there are more men in mental institutions than women? I guess that's why its called a 'men'tal institution after all. But it affirms said theory above. Not that i'm proud of the fact that us males have a higher tendency to go cuckoo, but its always gratifying when a basic tenet of your thinking gets confirmed.

But here's the kicker, and maybe i'll be mixing up the oyster and the clam, but don't be too fussy. My apologies to clam and oyster lovers everywhere, but this is only a metaphorical argument.

An oyster [or clam], though its homeground is the sand of the ocean floor, has an apathy for sand. It itches the poo right out of them. So, when a grain of sand happens to manage its way into an oyster, the poor oyster is of course irritated. It then does the only thing it can do, since it has no fingers and a tweezer to pluck the damned thing out. It starts to coat the grain of sand with a layer of material, and now i've forgotten what its called.

Anyway, it continues layering the grain of sand, over and over again until its perfectly smooth, more or less round and is large enough for the oyster to happily contain within itself. That is, until a diver comes along and divest the oyster of its treasure.

And that, people, is more or less how a pearl is made. Don't bother me about the details.

The analogy here? The pain that us men feel is the sand. Our defensive mechanism of blanketing out the pain we feel, the layers of material. That's basically it.

And what about the diver, you ask? Is that the female, who callously robs the oyster of its painstaking work? So you're saying us females are the foolish ones of a relationship, SeVenStaRs?!

Not at all. You'd be doing the oyster a big favour. Because no matter how pretty the pearl is, its still a hindrance to its everyday life. You might say its excess baggage wrapped in a Louis Vuitton bag; valuable, pretty to look at but ultimately a useless accessory.

Trouble is, the diver tends to forget the oyster. The pearl becomes the focus, the oyster a convenient, easily forgotten mule, a wisp of its former, glorious self.

So let me 'unconfuse' all you confused people out there. Women, when you're trying to figure out a guy, never forget the guy himself, especially when you've found the root of his behaviour, i.e. his 'pearl'. Don't focus on the mistakes he made and forget all about him. Don't be the selfish diver, after digging in voraciously to gain the pearl, the oyster gets dropped back to the ocean floor, without a care as to the welfare of the oyster after the ordeal.

He'll just start the process all over again, and again, and again.

'Sampai kapan, kau kan menyiksa? Waktu kan menjawab, namun aku tak bisa menunggu.'

SeVenStaRs, out.

Cats. Gotta love 'em.

2004-11-29T13:46:00.000Z

Listening to B2K feat. Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs - Bump Bump Bump

I just had one lecture, and now i'm killing time in my department's computer cluster till my tutorial. I was just checking out my email and my sister sent me a couple of pics. Wait till you people [especially feline lovers] see these pics:

This here's my sister's cat Bobby. He's only a year and something old, but look at him. Looks like a cat model [if there is such a thing]. He's a mixture of Maine Coone [a breed from the U.S.] and other unknown breeds [there's probably a bit of lion in him too judging by that veritable mane] , but he's all cat.

Isn't he gorgeous? I love him to bits. Like my sister, i'm a cat lover, been so since i was a kid and still going strong.

One other reason why i love him so much is because he shares the same birthdate as i do! It says so on his birth certificate, which pretty much clinches it for me. I mean, the chances of that happening is so small, you'd need to reanimate Einstein to figure it out.

Now you've met the husband and 'lord' of the house, below is a picture of his wife, subsequently the 'queen' of the household:

Now this here's Bobby's 'wife', my mom's cat Minnie [Do not ask me why the names.] She's also a mixed breed, but to this day we have no idea which breeds. She's a bit younger than Bobby, but she's already pretty much grown up, as it were.

Like most female cats, she's a bit stuck up. I have numerous clawmarks attesting to that particular fact. But she's still adorable though, even though she has a pretty, shall we say 'interesting' personality.

The next pic is rather an unflattering one, but it unfortunately reflects Bobby's [and perhaps mine =P] habits VERY well.

That's what he does all the time. He eats, eats, eats some more, eats after that, and when he's finally satiated he'll lounge about all over the house like he owns the place [which, in his mind, he probably does]. After he has digested his meal adequately enough, mischief erupts all over.

Attempts have been made to photograph him in 'mischief-mode', but he always manages to elude the pursuing cameras and screaming parents. Maybe its all the bawling lamentations over scratched furniture and other 'unmentionables' that alerts him to our presence.

Cats. You've got to love them.

SeVenStaRs, out.

p.s. Huntress, my fellow cat lover, eat your heart out =P

Early morning, when i wake up.

2004-11-29T10:03:00.000Z

Listening to Zahid feat. Cat Ruffedge - Milikku

Two more hours to go before class, and i've just woken up. The weather's cold, and the bed's warm. Therein lays the torture. I hate waking up =P

What have i got in my head to blog today? Nothing much, only that i'm counting the days till my Missy comes to visit me over here... can't wait for you to be here sayang :)

I read something over at their blog today on marriages and how everything will probably never be the same again afterwards. Well, i'm sorry to say this but it'll probably won't be. Marriage is such a life changer, it absolutely forces your life into another direction. I know this 'cause i have quite a few friends and cousins who're already married whilst being the same age as i am and of having the same juvenile persuasions as i have. They're not there anymore. Now they're someone's husband, wife, father and mother.

All i can say is, good luck to those who're getting married, engaged or whatever. You guys are always welcome if you feel like hanging with us 'unmarried' folk again =)

How do i feel about marriage? Well, i don' t know yet. But what i do know is this;

'i won't engage in one of the greatest journeys of a lifetime without having all the prerequisites available to me first, i.e. a job, a stable income, saved up oodles of cash and the like.'

You can quote me on that if you like.

I already have my journey companion, and i want to make sure that our travels together are as perfect as possible =) promise! *pinky lock*

*yawn* damn. I thought i slept early last night. But i guess i'm still tired, what with football at seemingly sub-zero temperatures. I was out of breath five minutes into the game. I've got to get my lungs back into some semblance of working order. Seriously, i am so gonna get murdered by my football team back home if they ever found out i'm being all loose and unfit by their unbelievable standards.

I'm gonna go downstairs now and cook me up some breakfast. And that breakfast would be?

Indomee[instant noodles], what else? The staple of every Bruneian student. [particularly those who've lived in a hostel ;)]

Sevenstars, i'm off.

Questionnairez.

2004-11-25T11:25:00.000Z

Listening to - typing sounds, typing sounds and more typing sounds.

Here's something i got from their site. Well, here's my version.

Five things you love:

1. My Missy =)
2. My family.
3. My B.I.As
4. Football and anything associated with it.
5. Reading. [Is reading a thing?]

Five things you hate:

1. Waking up early in the morning.
2. Tons of work, so little time.
3. People being A-holes, proud bastardos, the 'perasan' type, you name it.
4. Being broke.
5. Being helpless [which is, Thank God, a rare occurence]

Five things that scare you:

1. Losing my loved ones.
2. Become a failure.
3. Losing my six senses.
4. The day i go absolutely mental.
5. My dad =P

Five things you don't understand:

1. Why do people insist on being a pain in the neck.
2. All the hate in the world.
3. The obsession with appearances.
4. Why can't i do all my work on time, properly and with ample time to spare.
5. Human idiocy mistaken for 'fairness, equality and justice'.

Five things on your desk:

1. My desktop and various things connected to it.
2. A box full of cables, joints, various bits and bobs.
3. Stationery.
4. CDs.
5. An ashtray.

Five facts about you:

1. I'm agreeable most of the time.
2. I love to joke around and make people laugh [a hint of Chandlerism, perhaps?]
3. I can play the guitar, drums, etc, etc... hence, i'm musically inclined.
4. Fluent in Sarawakian.
5. An absolute bookaholic.

Five things you can do:

1. Cook [Insomniac, eat your heart out =p].
2. Read a book a mile a minute.
3. Drive sedately when needed, zoom around like a maniac if required, chilling most of the time.
4. Figure out how to fix something [given time].
5. Defend myself when needed.

Five things you can't do:

1. Do the splits [used to, but not anymore =p]
2. Not read before going to bed.
3. Do more than one thing at a time.
4. Shoot a ball with my left foot.
5. Say no to my Missy =p

5 things that turn you on about the opposite sex:

1. Their smile.
2. Their voices.
3. A sense of humour
4. Their attitude.
5. Their hair [yes, i'm a hair freak.]

5 things you say often:

1. Ya wah?
2. Asta...
3. Bauta ko [a Bruneian swear word]
4. Antah ah...
5. "£$^%$^£%&&*!!!!!!!!!!!! [When i'm pissed off.

There ya go. Any more questions, mail me.

A post for the birds.

2004-11-25T10:23:00.000Z

Listening to Great Big White World - Marilyn Manson

Well, my apologies. I haven't posted anything up since the 18th of November apparently, and people have been blasting me from my state of premediated slumber to put something up. Sorry everyone, i was so swamped with work i didn't even have time to sit still. It is nearly the end of the semester anyways, so everything has been pilling up just as fast as i was able to deal with them.

Anyway, enough with the excuses. On towards the post...

Last week i went to the N.E.R.D. concert held at the Carling Appollo Theatre in Manchester, and boy was that fun. £30 well spent, if i do say so myself. I was just a yard away from the stage due to my unique ability to gently 'swoosh' people way bigger & taller than me aside. Well, actually i just bumped them out of the way, but distinctions like that doesn't really matter. Pharrell was all decked out in his usual bling-bling [diamond-decked bracelet around 3 inches wide, anyone?] and the rest of the crew were slammin' as well.

I would have to admit that i saw for myself how a lot of the ladies out there are so enamored over Mr. Pharrell. He is a very very smooth operator, most of the males in the house [myself included] were more than a bit envious of him. Saying that he carries himself well would be the biggest understatement of the year. I wish i could get hold of the T-shirt he was wearing though, a white B.B.C. [Billionaire Boys Club] with pink lettering which isn't available in retail shops and believe me, i've looked. They were only supposed to be available at concerts but somehow they [i.e. the concert organisers over here in Manchester] didn't stock them.

Ah well, i'll have to console myself with their 'Fly or Die' T-shirt, which does look alright.

I know i've been promising to post up the pics from the Hoobastank concert and from the N.E.R.D. concert [at his request] but truth be told, i'm a bit lazy. But it will be in the next post, which will be soon, promise ;)

Anyways, enough with that. Do i have anything else to put up? Oh yes i do. On to something else which has been bugging me for a long, long time.

Recently, i've noticed that 'some' people have been acting all high and mighty [no names, i am a professional] around myself, particularly when it comes to everyday living. Now i don't really care much about what anyone thinks about myself, just so long as they leave me alone. But this time i'm really irked, as it were. Could any of you guys out there tell me, what IS the definition of maturity? Is it derived from how you think? Or act? Or speak?

That would be a bit shallow, i would think. Maturity is something intangible. Even the American General Patton once remarked that some of his tactics on the field was 'considerably lacking in maturity and plain common sense'. But would you call him an immature individual? How about Albert Einstein? Posters of him with his tongue sticking out for the whole wide world to see is virtually everywhere. Is he immature?

Oh, then probably his hypothesis E=MC2 was the ramblings of a juvenile delinquent, as well.

Well, here's what i think. Maturity is not derived from ANY of the above. It is a state of being which requires specific conditions for it to manifest itself. And even when it does flit into existence, it will not last within your soul indefinitely. It comes and goes without any particular point in mind. What i'm trying to say is that maturity is like happiness, sadness, sorrow and pain. It comes and it goes, depending on your own perceptions.

Which human being in this world can admit to being mature ALL of the time? Can Socrates do it? Stephen Hawkins, the crippled astrophysicist? How about Bill Gates? The answer is a drop-down dead, flat out 'NOBODY'! And i would think that being mature all of the time would be boring, too. You're acting all prim and proper, disciplined and valorous all of the time even when you're all alone, unable to act out your innermost emotions because of some skewed sense of principle.

Can i get a shovel please? I'll dig a hole and bury myself if that's not too much of a bother.

Sigh. If this was me just a couple of years ago i'd have addressed this problem a trifle bit more directly. Anyone who annoys me this much gets a one way, no return trip to the seventh floor of Hell, no refunds available, thank you very much and enjoy your stay. But i guess i've matured [there's that word again] a bit, so now i usually think before i act. Any more of this persistant annoyment though, and i will revert to my normal, immature self. Violators be warned.

I would have to say that that word 'mature' has to be the most misunderstood, most misused word in the whole world bar none. Well, perhaps the phrase 'justifiable actions' could be much worse, but i'll just be pontificating. What i am asking is; do not mistake the word 'Mature' and its various other morphological forms for 'self-discipline'. These two are alike in some respects, but they're definitely not the same.

Enough ranting. I have work to do. Will continue this tonight if i have the chance.

SeVenStaRs, i'm outta here.

A special Hari Raya [Eid] post.

2004-11-16T06:48:00.000Z

Listening to Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved

Yes, its really really early in the morning, i've just woken up and now i can't go back to sleep. Drat. I got a long day ahead of me and i should be getting all the rest i could lay my hands on, but nooo~~...

Anyway.

Apologies for not updating for quite some time [Hunts - =P] but its been a hectic Eid. Fantastic fun. Fabulous food. I would like to think of more things that start with 'F's, but the world's a bit blurry at the moment. The efforts of 4 houses definitely showed, as there were like 10-15 different dishes during the Eid celebration in Manchester, with all of the Bruneians jumping to it and a couple of Malaysians joining in the fun. So much food, so little time. We had to give tons away.

Entertainmentwise, the karaoke machine is still complaining of heat rashes. My throat is still sore after belting out numerous Eid anthems throughout the night, not to mention the post-karaoke guitar bits all of us engaged in. 'Course, my voice was the loudest of all, but all in the name of Eid fun. Once a year, no?

Check these out:

Karaoke. Always a crowd puller. I took time out from hogging the mic [though we hardly needed it anyways] to take this pic.

Look at that array of food. It may not look too impressive from here, but trust me, there was a LOT of it to go around twice or thrice over. We got Tiramisu cake [tasty], BBQ chicken [though the BBQ was a fizzle] 'Rendang Daging', 'Bingka Susu', 'Popia', assorted rice dishes...

Very tasty night, if i do say so myself.

Fireworks. Actually we'd thought it would be a bit more impressive than this. A loud bang or two wouldn't go amiss, really. But as it turns out it was only a box of lightshow fireworks, not too much noise. Ah well, i guess the neighbours will count that as a blessing.

Well, that concludes this special Eid post.

Have a happy Eid celebration, no matter who you are or where you're from. God bless every single one of you =)

SeVenStaRs, out.

Its the little things...

2004-11-09T20:04:00.000Z

Listening to Marcel - Waktu Kan Menjawab

I've just done nailing my room together (well, actually my clothes hanger) and now i feel like blogging. But i don't have any particular topic in mind. Well, i do actually, so here goes.

I've been chatting with my Missy beforehand, and it was great. I haven't chatted with her for a couple of days and damn, how i missed her. She's gonna be having an exam tommorow, so i can only say 'good luck sayang =)'. The chat didn't last that long though (well, actually any time in the world when i'm with her is not long enough.. but that's just me talking =) cause of the exam and its a school night anyways. Oman's timezone is +4 hours, so its a bit late over at her end. At least she's not in Brunei, where its +8 hours... that would sure put plenty of kinks into chatting plans =P

Anyways, here's an excerpt from my chat with her (nothing sensitive! hehe :P)

.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
eh syg, sikit gi me na ingat one thing...
:: MiSsY :: SeVenStaRs :: says:
apa?
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
hehe
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
to say 'i love you' to you today syg
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
hehe
:: MiSsY :: SeVenStaRs :: says:
aah hehe kir apa eh
:: MiSsY :: SeVenStaRs :: says:
i love you too syg!
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
hehe
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
na me buleh lupa tu
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
hehe
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
mesti everyday me gtau u i love you syg
.*. SeVenStaRs .*. MiSsy .*. says:
mesti jua u tau dat i love you every single day =)

Hehe... that's just a little something me and her do =) Ever since i was with her, i never forgot to tell her that i loved her, every single day. You might think it mushy, whatever. I'm a guy who believes its the little things that makes a relationship truly wonderful. Its like the glue that holds everything together. Small, usually invisible to the naked eye, but then again its a vital cog in the machinations of that wonderful, wonderful thing called love =)

So people, never forget the little things. Never. Never. Never. Now repeat again.

I went to the city after Uni, and i bought a couple of things. An Mp3 player, some pillowcases, yada yada. And during my wanderings, i stumbled across something. Check out the pics :

(Sorry for the poor pic clarity, my camera was on the fritz. Its a teddy bear for those of you who can't see clearly =P)

Here's another pic :

(click on the images for a clearer view; it'll lead you to my Flickr page. Select a bigger size photo from there =)

You can very well guess who this little guy's for... =)

Teddy there didn't really caught my eye at first. I was just going to pay for some stuff that i bought, and this shop had a lot of stuff on the sidetills. I saw Teddy here, and i picked him up. Too bad you guys can't feel the pics; he is sooooooooo soft and cuddly! Cuddly enough to make a guy like me love him. *ehem ehem... kontrol macho* hehe =p

So, when i scooped Teddy up, i knew i had to buy him/her for Missy. I know she'll love Teddy so much =) I can't wait to see the look on her face when she gets hold of Teddy for the first time =D

Thing is, when i chatted with my Missy earlier, i told her that i bought something for her and that's it. Didn't tell her what it was. The perfect way for me to surprise her of course is to jet off to Oman and give Teddy to her in person. But since i haven't learned to fly yet, (damned flight permits! *gahh*) she'll find out tommorow, when she checks my blog.

Good enough surprise eh? Hope you like it, sayang =)

SeVenStaRs, out.

Layout

2004-11-09T10:55:00.000Z

Listening to Disturbed - Stupify.

My heartfelt thanks go to The Insomniac & Co. for the new look to my blog, much appreciated you guys =) Guess i have to learn to make my own layouts eh? Well, i will. Soon. Maybe.

Anyways, i'll be modding the tagboard i installed a bit later on, maybe after i get back from Uni. Apparently this stupid Uni cluster does not allow cookies, so i can't do any colour modifications to my tagboard. The sucky bit is that i've done all the colour modifications already, THEN i found out i can't save the changes. And now i've gone and forgotten the colour scheme i was planning on. Drat.

Ahh, whatever. I'll be posting later. Maybe i'll get to posting those Hoobastank pics i got. Maybe. I dunno.

SeVen, out.

Cooking blues.

2004-11-08T06:06:00.000Z

Listening to - Nothing in particular.

Well, its 6 a.m. in the morning. Don't think i woke up early, truth be told i haven't slept yet. And i'm not planning to today, at least... i've got classes aplenty, and i can't afford to miss any =p

Raya's coming soon, and i've been assigned cook duty. We're doing an 'open house' thingie over here for all (or probably most) the Bruneians living here in Manchester, and its gonna be great, with fireworks and everything. Guess who'll be supplying the fireworks? ;)

As i mentioned earlier, i'm on cook duty. I'm supposed to prepare a chicken dish for the function. I'm not griping or anything, i CAN cook, very well too i might add ;) Just one of those perks of being a Sarawakian Bruneian male; our mothers tend to be incredible cooks. My mom's not an exception.

So, i guess at this time of year its a good opportunity to show off the culinary skills my mom passed down to me. I'll probably be cooking a simple version of 'Ayam Masak Merah', simply because the ingredients to make a 'proper' Malay dish isn't that plentiful over here in Manchester, or anywhere in the UK, for that matter.

I did mention that it was simple, didn't i? well, it IS. It hardly challenges my cooking abilities =p Hey, i don't mean to sound all pompous here, but i REALLY CAN cook. Name me any Malay/Sarawakian dishes and i can usually pull it off, allowing for some of my own 'interpretations' of the taste and texture, of course (i favour thins to be hot and spicy, again an influence of my heritage). I can cook chicken dishes, beef dishes, special rice dishes, fish dishes, cakes, desserts...

Hey, i know what you're thinking, and i am not 'camp', okay. Not that i have anything against them, i even have a couple of friends who have that particular choice in relationship partners, if you will. I guess i just have a natural talent for cooking. There's also a bit of a story behind how that came about...

To keep things short, my Mom and Dad are working people, so that means when i was in my young teen years, i was usually alone at home for long stretches of time. I'll be home from school at around 12.30 p.m. with absolutely no one for company, much less have anyone cook for me. My Mom works around the clock, so too does my Dad, and they rarely eat at home. My Mom or Dad just picks me up from school and off they'll jet back to work. My sister's away in college and university at these times, so no respite there.

So, lunches fixed by my parents is just too rare a thing for me to rely on. In order for me to fill my belly, i had to fend for myself. I learned how to cook rice first, then its on to the simple dishes like frying eggs and other stuff. Gradually i learned more and more through trial and error and also from watching my Mom cook in the evenings, after she'd got back from work.

Sad, you say? Well, maybe it is. But i'm a guy who highly values his independence & the ability to fend for himself when the situation arises. I'm actually thankful for all those years of the burning chicken and the splattery oil messes; they really came in useful when i'm off and away again by myself with only my own skills to help me get by.

Speaking of which, i learned so much in my years as a young man/boy living in the pseudosuburbia of my hometown. Skills that aren't necessarily relevant nowadays (traditional Malay style 'merambat' and 'mengail', anyone? Hows about 'mengilong', or even 'memukat'? Ask me if you don't know these things.) in terms of modern day living, though i cherish these traditional skills, nonetheless. They're a part of my cultural identity, and i'll be damned if i lose ANY of them.

That, and my Dad'll kill me.

Later people, i'm out.

A letter devoted to my 156 =)

2004-11-02T22:54:00.000Z

Dear everybody,

Listening to Dygta - Kerna Ku Sayang Kamu (Acoustic)

Did i i tell you guys i love this song? Well, i do =) Its perfect for a guy who's far away from the woman of his dreams, studying in order to gain a future for the both of them.

Seandainya, kau ada disini denganku,
Mungkin ku tak sendiri.
Bayanganmu,
Yang selalu menemaniku.
Hiasi malam sepiku.

Ku ingin bersama dirimu.

Well, today's been an offbeat day... I haven't been doing much, just wasting around doing absolutely nothing. Even when i know i have tons of work to do, i still don't do nothing. Fatalistic for sure, i don't know why i do it.

Ku tak akan pernah, berpaling darimu.
Walau kini, kau jauh dariku.
Kan selalu ku nanti,
Kerna, ku sayang kamu..

Guess i'm tired. I've been doing nothing but slave all day, catching up on my reading, doing my projects, yada yada yada. I wanna be with my Missy, i miss her so much =( I've been reading The Insomniac & Co.'s page, and i can't help but be envious of their stories with their significant others.

Hati ini, selalu memanggil namamu,
Dengarlah Miswaniku.
Ku berjanji, hanyalah untukmu cintaku.
Takkan pernah ada yang lain.

Heh... guess i've been thinking about my Missy a bit too much. Though its an easy thing to do, i needs to pay attention to my work a bit more. *sigh* I wish she was here, anyway. At least the pain i feel, being so far away from her, would subside. And i wouldn't be beating my head out whenever i can't even sleep, thinking of her.

Adakah rindu dihatimu,
Seperti rindu yang kurasa?
Sanggupkah ku terus terlena,
Tanpamu disisiku,
Ku kan selalu menantimu...

Love is a great thing, is it not? It can drive you or hold you back, send you to the stars or down towards the bowels of hell itself, be the saviour of your life or the harbinger of your doom. Once, i never thought i'd find somebody that i could love as much as i do my Missy, but hoo boy was i wrong ;) and i'm glad i WAS wrong, anyway. Now i'm as devoted to my Missy as the Pope is to Christianity, well maybe just a bit more than that =)

Seandainya, kau ada disini denganku,
Mungkin ku tak sendiri.
Bayanganmu, yang selalu menemaniku,
Hiasi malam sepiku.

Ku ingin bersama dirimu...

Why, do i hear you ask? Well, much as i would like to answer that, i can't. There's just that intangible connection that binds me to her, locks my heart firmly in her grasp and as breathless as that makes me, i never want her to let go.

'Love', is just a word which isn't enough. The definition of 'love' is also not enough. There's more to it than love, though i guess it could be the simplest description possible. I guess what i'm trying to say is what i feel for my Missy transcends the boundaries of that word, i.e. 'Love'. Its beyond love, beyond all the mortal words that exist in our human vocabulary. I have no idea what it is, but i do want more of it every single moment.

I want my Missy =)

Ku tak akan pernah,
Berpaling darimu.
Walau kini, kau jauh dariku.
Kan selalu ku nanti,
Kerna, ku sayang kamu.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in this post i proclaim to all the world [at least a small portion of it who actually reads my posts] that one day, one glorious day, i WILL get down on my knees and i WILL ask her to make me the most happiest man in the world.

Yep, its exactly what you're thinking =)

Kan selalu ku nanti,
Kerna, ku sayang kamu.

One day, i will be complete. Until that day comes, i remain yours,

SeVenStaRs

Tired & Spent part 3

2004-10-30T01:00:00.000+01:00

Listening to Hoobastank - The Reason

I just got back from watching Hoobastank live in concert over here in Manchester, and I have to say the concert was fantastic. The supporting act, Three Days Grace were awesome too. I took bucketfuls of pics, grabbed plenty of the leaflets and even bought a Hoobastank T-shirt for my Missy :) I'll do a post with all of them pics later.

Speaking of my Missy, here's something i made for her that i haven't posted up here yet. I haven't got a title for this one, i was just letting my hand do all the work, and this bit was created.

'When everything is failing,
and you have no one to turn to,
you don't have to reach out for me.
I will come to you.

Whenever your tears start to fall,
and everyone's building their walls,
don't worry yourself trying to find me.
I'll be right next to you.

When you're racing through life,
and you stumble and fall,
don't cry, don't shed a tear.
I'll be right behind you.

And on those lonely nights,
when you're missing me so much,
don't worry, just look to the stars,
I'm always there, guarding over you.

Whenever you feel lost,
and nothing seems right,
just call out to me, in your heart.
I'll be running towards you.

When the night arrives,
bringing its own brand of magic,
just smile, and nod your head.
I'll understand, and i'll be right there.

And when the end comes...
where there's nothing, nothing at all.
Don't you worry, sayang.
When you step through those white gates,
i'll be there, waiting for you =)

Until the next post people, which hopefully would be soon =)

I'm out.

Self discipline?

2004-10-24T13:29:00.000+01:00

Listening to Audioslave - Like A Stone

Oh, damn. i haven't written in this here blog for such a long time. I have been a lazy bugger these past couple of days, i have due assignments still yet to await doing, NOT completion. I'm behind on my reading for Uni, some of my handouts are missing, complain complain complain....

Yeah, well, i'm busy. Its all good. I need to kick myself into a higher gear to get some essentials done, but its all good.

~sigh~ see? I'm a creature dependent on mood. I just paused to get some thought into my head on what to write next, and now i haven't got the mood to write any more. This is affecting a lot of things i do/trying to do, like to NOT study last minute, washing up the dishes, buy some food for sungkai, oh the bloody list can grow so long.

Uh, yes that was random, but anyways...

Well, yeah so i haven't got the discipline. Yes, i don't. I need to trim down a teeny weeny bit, but i always put it off. I need to get my work down, and here i am procrastinating again.

Anybody have any ideas on how to crack my head open and pour some self-discipline into it?

I'm off to watch Naruto.

*Missy, I love you =) Wish you were here with me, an eternal reminder of how lucky i am as a man. I cannot ask for a more perfect companion to my soul. Every day that passes, my thoughts always float back to you, your grace, your beauty, your calming influence on my troubled mien. Have i told you your smile creates shockwaves running up-and-down the valves of my heart? It's light can reach into the deepest, darkest parts of me, a light no mortal sun can hope to rival.

Missy, i love you =) my love, my star, my everything. I am lost without you, like a drowning man just a finger's width from breaking the surface, close but not close enough to breathe in the life-giving air. As complicated as that sounds, it only scratches the iceberg of complications i feel without you by my side comforting me, talking to me (;) and just holding me, keep me close against the breaker of my dreams, the loneliness that is my times without you..

Missy, i love you =) Until the time we're together again, i shall wait for you.

'Syg, me love u eh =) me tunggu u sini ah? =)'*

*402^156*

Until Whenever.

I'm out.

Of Dreams, Family and My Idol =)

2004-10-19T13:32:00.000+01:00

Listening to Gin Blossoms - Till I Hear It From You.

Gotta love this old-school tune... Its definitely a cult classic, from that movie about a music store... what was it? Empire Records? All i remember is that Liv Tyler acted in it.

*Strolls down memory lane...*

Anyway.

I'm in a computing cluster at Uni, watching people go by while checking my mail and such. My stomach's growling, cause its Puasa and i forgot to have 'sahur' last night. Well, actually i remembered, but i was so sleepy i couldn't be bothered to get up. *sigh* well, you reap what you sow.. =p

I'm not updating as much as i used to, guess i'm more busy now, what with work, puasa, people leaving for good, yada yada yada. I'm waking up all tired and bitchy (yes, guys can get bitchy too you know, its just most guys wouldn't admit it. I don't care =p) and wondering where the hell i am, why is my room cream instead of blue, Dad must have painted it without telling me, i wonder what's Mom gonna cook for 'sungkai' (break of fast), is Sister back from work yet...

Yes people, i'm homesick. Its the season. Puasa & Hari Raya. This is family time, not slogging-off-in-a-foreign-country-doing-something-else time. I miss having 'sungkai' with my family, listening to my Dad pestering me not to eat too much, my Mom piling food on my plate, my Sister launching into one of her tirades about the attributes of her favourite AF contestant vs. all the others, and me laughing through it all.

This is family time. To me, there's not a time much better than this.

Now, all i get is listening to them 'sungkai' on the phone and trying my best not to break down while talking to my Mom who doesn't really talk rather than cry on the phone, asking if i'm alright, do i have enough money, is everything all right there, what did i have for 'sungkai', who's cooking, etc etc...

My Dad's not much better either. He keeps everything formal and businesslike, but i could tell he was swallowing his throat every now and again whilst asking the same questions my Mom did. This I cannot take. I can withstand bursts of emotions from my Mom, but not the kind of stoicism my Dad puts forth. He's like a stoppered bottle, always keeping things hidden deep inside. But during these times cracks begin to show through his facade of toughness, and he's almost tender.

My Sister's a bit better. She tells me everyone here misses me during these times, she asks whether i'm alright, uncles & aunties and her friends said hello and asked how i was doing and simply talking about things that i've been missing on; her cat's latest bowel movements, her 'dream' new car, her dream of going for a Master's degree...

Its the season. Its Puasa and Hari Raya. The equivalent to Christmas.

You can tell we're a close-knit family, no? We have to be, since there's only 4 of us. I may be one tough son-of-a-gun (at least people say i am... accuracy not guaranteed), but when it comes to family i... melt. I love family. There's not a happier sight for me in this world than seeing a happy family walk past, the Dad and the Mom obviously in love with each other, the kids all healthy and bouncing, everybody laughing and having fun.

Brady Bunch, maybe. But i can't help but love this perfect family idealisation. Far be it from me to dwell on the more sordid aspects to family life; the divorces, child-custody battles, family feuds and such ilk.

When i have a family of my own, i want it to be as happy as the one i have now. I'll try as hard as possible to avoid the various pitfalls that my family nearly fell into, but that's another story. I want to have a family where my kids are healthy & intelligent young men and women, with a secure future under their belts thanks to their parents. I want to have a family where i am so deeply in love with my wife i'll never look for another, faithful and loyal unto death. I want to have a family where my wife and kids will have no worries of financial difficulties.

I want to be like my Dad. He grew up in a big, sprawling family beset with financial difficulties. He hasn't got high education, he (still) has difficulties understanding English. (Does anyone find it funny that his son's good enough to be doing a degree in English Language with possible automatic Masters qualifications? =)

Now he's an outstanding member of BSP. Co. and by most standards, he's financially sound. He has business interests all over now, bringing in more income to the family, though we hardly need it now. My Sister's already self-supportive (though she needs help now and again) and i will be soon enough. My parents are well-off people now, but i still remember the times when we weren't.

People ask me,

'What are your dreams?'

'What are you gonna do in the future?'

Some people would want life in the fast lane, more money, more bling-bling, fast cars and fast women (or men). All the perks of modern day living, jet-setting to Los Angeles for an hour's shopping spree, skiing in the Alps, chilling in the calming spheres of Bali, Guam, etc etc.

Not me. I want to grow old happy and financially secure. I want to watch my grandkids play on the lawn. I want to spend my nights with my arms wrapped around my wife. Now those are my dreams.

Yes yes, a wicked car would definitely be in the picture, chilling and enjoying life as a yuppie 20-something year old earning 3-4 k a month with a bit of side-income going on. But this is for the immediate future. Definitely not my long-term dreams.

So, in short? I want to be like my Dad. I want to lead as good a life as he did. Even if i was half as successful as my Dad i'd still be thankful.

Dad, you're my idol, no matter what i might have said in the past. Though you might not understand what i'm writing very well, know this;

I love you Dad, Mom and Sis. I love you guys more than you'll ever think possible. I'm willing to put down my life for you guys. You guys are the reason for me being where i am today =)

Thanks you guys. I love you all so much =)

For the boss =)

2004-10-18T06:00:00.000+01:00

Listening to Spider - Relaku Pujuk

Hey everyone. Selamat Berpuasa to all Muslims all over the world. Sorry with the lack of updates, i've been a bit lazy of late. This post is attributed to Huntress (from BruStu) who thinks she's Lady Inspiration and has been smiling at me a bit too much as of late... =p

Anyway, here goes.

We recently had a farewell testimonial football match and party for a BruManch who has left for Brunei for good. He's been our beloved boss for a year, and some incredibly sweet memories were to be had with him in attendance. He's a good friend, he's regarded (rightly, i would think) as the 'Big Brother' of us BruManchs and he'll definitely be sorely missed here in Manchester by us Bruneians.

So Gbam, three cheers for you and good luck in your life. Take care of yourself boss =)

I'd write a bit more, but i just had my 'sahur' (the last meal you're allowed before a day's fasting begins) and my head is swimming. I think i hear my bed calling.

Until later.

Back with something weird.

2004-10-13T13:08:00.000+01:00

Listening to my loyal heater fan whirring away =p

SeVenStaRs is back =D anyone missed me? Though i seriously doubt it, but if there are, well i miss you too =D hehe. Forgive the hyper mood, i'm just so happy with my PC being all spic and span. Though i don't have any of my music files or my picture files, which seemed to be 'mysteriously unrecoverable'... *grumble grumble*

Been reading HYS when i stumbled across this post. All i can say is 'ouch'. Anyone know who exactly is this person talking about?

*******************************************************************************

Sambungan kpd post ku. Kali ani tuan2 dan puan2 semua adalah 'case studies' ataupun 'kes2 contoh' yang akan digunakan sebagai contoh. Semua case studies ani adalah 100% benar dan berlaku pada masa ani di negara tani, Brunei Darussalam. Kalau biskita nda percaya, terpulanglah.

Case study pertama : Anak2 yang Melampau.

Ayahnya dan ibunya adalah urg yg alim, not to mention loaded. Mereka membesarkan anak2 mereka dlm sebuah keluarga yg belunaskan ajaran2 Islam, pada pandangan mata kasar. Bila bejalan sekeluarga, pakaian masing2 ala2 al-Syeikh Saudi Arabia, Masyallah! Tidak mengikut fesyen remaja masa kini, cuyak sana, pendek sini, ketat sana, dedah sini.

Tetapi, disebaliknya...

Anak2 mereka ini hidup didunia yg berbeza dgn ibu bapanya. Pakaian atas jubah dan tudung, baju kurung dan tudung, pakaian yg menutup aurat. Pakaian dibawah pula skirt ketat dan t shirt ketat, jeans koyak di bahagian 'belakang' *ahem ahem*, lebih banyak kulit sendiri dari helaian benang baju.

Pakaian atas adalah bila bersama ibubapa. Pakaian atas adalah bila mereka minta antar arah mak bapak durang kalau kan kekadai sama kawan, 'lepak2' bersama sahabat sahabat lain disatu lokasi kumpulan2 kedai yg paaaaaaaaaaaaaling femes di seluruh Brunei. Tetapi bila ibubapa dah cabut, maka tecabut tia jua pakaian luar tadi. Parading tia around the 'hangout' mcm supermodel cari kontrak baru. Beulah tia bagai tiada lagi esok. Setiap hari.

Apa dah jadi? Kemana ilangnya ajaran2 ibubapa tadi? Bukan hendak mengata, kalau mereka2 semua ani kan belari2 anak ditepi pantai dengan hanya memakai karangan lautan ditmpt2 strategik, itu adalah durang punya pasal. Tetapi kontrast yg begitu ketara ani menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin buleh menjadi topik pertikaian hebat. Salah siapa? Adakah ibubapa sebenarnya tidak mengambil berat tentang hal-ehwal anak diluar pandangan mata kasar mereka, atau pun adakah si anak yang bersikap sambil lewa?

Tepulang kpd interpretasi sendiri. Opinion saya: aku lebih prefer seorang remaja yg ketara beulah daripada remaja yg sebegini. Memang, kita menapuk ulah2 kita dari ibubapa kita dari dulu lagi. Ia adalah something yg nda dpt kita lepaskan dari, sudah menjadi sebahagian dari 'kemanusiaan' kita. Tapi something yg 'overly blantant' mcm ani menghairankan jua bah. Seolah2 mcm mempermainkan agama. Tudung yg mulia dijadikan alas bagi rambut yg berdye, dan bukan untuk menapuk aurat.

Ingatan lagi sekali kepada pembaca: ini bukanlah kutukan atau pidato menunjukan kesalahan urg lain. Ini adalah 'case studies' yg ditulis untuk menjadi contoh argument. Jikalau pembaca beranggapan bahawa aku si penulis menggangap diriku lebih baik dari mereka2 yg disebut, pembaca beranggapan tidak betul. Aku si penulis mempunyai kesalahan sendiri di masa yg lalu, dan aku freely accept kutukan2 yg mungkin ku terima, oleh sebab kesalahan dulu ataupun kerana post ini dan post2 yg akan menyusul lagi. Tujuan posts ku ini hanyalah sebagai barang bacaan dan sebagai renungan, bukan sebagai sebuah media untuk mentohmah, mengkeji, menghina, memburuk2kan dan yg sewaktu dengannya.

Mun ada jua lagi kan mengucapkan, ucaptah. Aku memang sangka jua.

Comments are freely accepted, respected and encouraged. Setiap seorang mempunyai opinion sendiri.

Note: Post ini hanya memuatkan Case study pertama : Anak2 yang Melampau. Case studies yg lain akan dibentangkan kemudian. Bukannya apa, aku kan bekamih.

Langit Dan Bumi

*****************************************************************

Ouch ouch ouch. I bet you if the person talked about read that posting sparks will fly.

Stop!

2004-10-07T10:27:00.000+01:00

Listening to - People in the computer cluster at Uni.

*sigh* my PC quitted on me. But i have to wait until the Sunday to get it fixed. So i guess i'll be going on an enforced hiatus from blogging. I'll get my butt back posting as soon as i get my beloved PC back.

See you guys soon, hopefully.

Real love?

2004-10-04T23:02:00.000+01:00

Listening to Awie - Ratuku

How do you know when you're in real love?

Well...

1. You start calling your significant other your pet names in front of everybody... and not be embarrased.

2. When thinking about them is the equivalent of breathing.

3. When you're eating/studying/whatever, you wonder if he/she's doing the same thing and if so, what he/she's eating, studying, whatever.

4. If the style of your texts, the way you walk/talk, the things you like to do, whatever is starting to get a bit too similar.

5. When he/she doesn't want to watch a particular movie with you cause its too scary/gory/boring/whatever and you get pissed, but in the end you guys'll watch the movie anyway.

6. At a restaurant, you wolf down your food like the way you always eat and not bother to be all nice and prim.

7. Fights are a rare occurence, but when it happens its like hell boiling over. But you guys'll patch things up... eventually.

8. When missing him/her is akin to physical pain, you struggle to breath at nights in bed and get all curled up between the sheets just at the sight of her/him in a photograph.

9. When you start drinking his/her favourite drink and liking it too, just because he/she's far away from you at that moment.

10. When in sports, or an exam, or anything like a competition, even though he/she's not there, the mere memory of him/her is enough to send you rocketing past the competition.

So, after reading all this... Have you ever been in real love?

Tired and Spent part 2.

2004-10-04T15:06:00.000+01:00

Listening to Clipse - What Happened To That Boy?

I am tired. I am so bloody tired i can fall asleep right now and not wake up for a million years. But heaven help me, i have another class waiting for my esteemed presence, so no respite for me just yet. Probably a tankard of coffee would help me, or electric shock treatments.

Anyway.

My allowance is finally in. That's a plus point in the whole of today's sordid saga. I'm not planning on blowing my allowance on ultimately useless things though, (but i would very much like to) i have the house bills to pay, telephone bill, electricity bill, food funds...

Makes the amount i receive monthly seem a paltry amount.

But what am i to do? I have to make the best of what i'm getting. There are plenty more of students out there living on even less than what i'm getting. Its useful to keep this tidbit in mind the next time i plan on going on a blind, half-assed shopping spree.

Boy am i tired. I just read that last paragraph of mine and it hardly made sense. Ah well, coherence disappears with sleep deprivation anyway =P

On a lighter note my Radeon 9600 graphics card just arrived today... yay! =D Now i can blast my way through them Nazi hordes in Call Of Duty.. How i love that game. I'm also planning to get The Sims 2... I loved the first game and its various expansion packs. I don't get how burning a perfectly good meal on the stove could be so fun to experience... but it is. Don't ask me why.

Be back later, with hopefully a more readable post.

SeVenStaRs, out.

By the way...

2004-10-01T10:04:00.000+01:00

Blogger so annoys me. The post below is supposed to look a bit different, but Blogger keeps changing it. But its free, so i guess i can't really complain all that much =p

Balancing act

2004-10-01T09:04:00.000+01:00

Listening to Dygta - Tak Bisa Memiliki

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*402156*

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*sigh* This song always evokes memories of the saddest order... the Dygta guys must have been through a lot of heartbreaks similar to the rest of us normal guys to create this, a song which hits home in so many ways.

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*402156*

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The history of our lives is a series of 'ifs'. What if we did that differently, what if this never happened, etc etc. We'll never figure it out, what would happen if we did things just a bit differently back then.

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*402156*

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Sometimes, life is one big joke. We have to learn to laugh, otherwise we'll weep for all the time to come, because of our past. Its funny, really. Laugh or be swallowed by sadness. Now that's something worth laughing about.

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*402156*

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I'm not regretting my past, its an impossible eventuality to madness anyway. But there are a few things i would change, just so as my life here in the present would turn out just that bit better than it is now. Its a dream that has no horizon, but there's no harm in dreaming of swimming out to find its edges, right?

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*402156*

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Right now though, i have almost everything i could dream of, most of all someone whom i love and adore the most =) But there are some things which i wish i'd never done, like hurting someone, or encumbering myself with burdens i know i have to keep. Sometimes at night, its those things which bothers me the most, the things that keeps biting on my conscience, drawing just that bit of blood with every single bite.

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*402156*

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I want to make my life perfect, so that i could return the faith of everyone who placed their trust in me. I want them to not regret knowing me, being friends with me, loving me. But sometimes what i want and what everyone else wants doesn't exactly coincide.

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*402156*

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But i understand that life is a balance. To be happy is to have the best of both worlds, your own and those of the others around you. This may not be possible even half of the time, but its worth you trying. And if sometimes in life, to be happy is to make huge sacrifices, from both worlds, then that's what we all have to do. Regardless of the pain it puts yourself (and others) into. I understand that.

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*402156*

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Right now i believe my life has finally achieved that balance. I don't know how, but God has His designs for all of us. Like my Missy for example, who's HeavenSent =) I would never have found her if not for the seemingly coincidental happenings that occured before. I guess now is a good time to use everything that i've learned in this short but turbulent lifetime to try and keep that balance.

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*402156*

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Once, this song might have been my anthem. I would be jamming to it with my band and it'll keep revolving in my head like a fly trying to get its point across. It'll be playing in my car for i don't know how many times. But not anymore. I've put everything else in my past aside, and i want to keep the balance of my future intact. Its due time for me to let go of everything i was attached to from my past.

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*402156*

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For my family, for my B.I.As, for my friends.

And especially for my Missy 156 =)

Until later.

My band which remains nameless... =p

2004-09-28T20:55:00.000+01:00

Listening to Coldplay - The Scientist (Acoustic)

Love this version of the song. I thought the original version was OK... but this acoustic rendition is incredible *shakes head*.

So i'm a guitar freak, too. I play rhythmic lead (a combo of lead & rhythm... duuh =p) in my band, so usually acoustic songs get my full attention. But i don't stick to this particular genre, indeed i pride myself on having a truly ecclectic love of music. I can listen to virtually any type of song (just as long as they don't annoy me too much ;) and my musical influences range far and wide.

Oasis, a lot of Indon bands, Too Phat and their crew (V.E. and the like), OAG, Broery Marantika, Barenaked Ladies, Amy Search, Tupac Shakur, 3 Doors Down, Slipknot, Greenday, Korn, Marilyn Manson..

That list above can grow so long i don't even want to think about it.

My band back home plays a mixture of things too... sometimes we can't keep it straight ourselves. We play songs by Sheila On 7, Radiohead, Hoobastank, Caffeine, Oasis, Metallica and plenty of others. We've been trying to produce our own songs, but we've never got round to doing it, since we've been too busy mashing each other on my PS2, playing football, hanging out...

Not exactly important stuff-type busy, but busy nonetheless ;)

The trouble is, the guys in my band aren't short on talent either. Beforehand, Adul (drummer) and Sufiyan (lead) have been in the band scene for nearly 8 years now playing songs by Korn, Oasis, Deftones and i don't know what else, Stip (rhythm) for 5 years, Fadhlan (bassist) for 3 years and myself for a 2 year period, give or take. But we've just been procrastinating on doing our own songs since we can't exactly agree on what genre of music we want to bring.

Its not that our musical influences don't overlap, indeed it does. I just don't know, and i've been despairing over it for quite some time now (2 years to be exact). I guess we're all too lazy to take ourselves seriously. We've been invited (INVITED, for God's sake) to join in various Battle of The Bands competitions all over, but we've never joined even one. Sure, plenty of jamming hours under our belts and several private jam performances, but not one comp. I have no idea why, and neither do the others.

Most probably we need a name for our band first.

This band of ours has been around for what? 3, 4 years now? and yet we still don't have a name for it. *sigh* Typical Bruneian procrastination =p

Maybe, until all of us have secure jobs and a bit of luck, we'll build our own jam studio and create our own brand of music. We'll definitely be rocking your world then =D

Watch out for us, uh...

Umm, does anyone have any ideas for a band name? ;p

Books & movies.

2004-09-27T17:04:00.000+01:00

Listening to Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby

Ha... =p Old school tune. I remember kickin' it to this when i was in primary school.. =p Now that was a LOOONG time ago. Back when b-boying was still in its infancy. Yeah, i was good at it once... but then i kinda... grew, if you know what i mean =p

Anyway.

Today uni started, and boy was that a bit weird. I always knew waking up at a preset hour sucked, but today it just took on a whole new meaning. I had to physically drag myself from the clutches of my oh so comfortable bed. But it was alright, really. I'm looking forward to the studying and stuff. I guess i'm motivated now, and i'm planning to ride this wave for quite a while =)

I'm gonna go and watch a movie with Ady (my housemate) later... gonna watch that new psychophatic thriller 'Cellular'. The trailer looks cool. I really wanna watch 'The Incredibles' though... looks funny. A family of retired superheroes being called into action again to wage war with a supervillain whose mission is to eliminate all remaining superheroes in this bit of existance we call Earth. An irresistable plot line for a perpetual kid like me. Ha =D

I love going to the movies. Its another form of escapism for me, other than reading. Its interesting to know another person's interpretation of a book that i'm reading as well. For example is J.J.R. Tolkien's 'Lord of The Rings', which i'm sure most people are tired of by now, other than Legolas fans =p I read Tolkien's trilogy before i watched the movie trilogy, both of which were epic masterpieces. I'd have to admit the book was WAAAY harder for me to understand rather than the movie, but reading allows me to visualise my own battles, my own interpretations of the relationships that goes on within the LOTR universe.

Okay, this is all going a bit overboard. In short, i'm an avid reader. My favourite book genre is fantasy fiction. Over here i'm loading up on all sorts of fantasy literature like books by R.A. Salvatore, David Gemmell, David & Leigh Eddings and my personal favourite, Steven Errikson. I'm a readoholic, so sue me =p

Wish i had the patience to write a book. By all counts i could possibly write a book of my own, indeed my imagination is more than a bit fertile. I just don't have the drive for it yet, i guess.

If i were to write a book, you guys'll be the first to know ;)

Until later.

Verses.

2004-09-25T17:36:00.000+01:00

Listening to The AF2 crew - Party Like This

Here's something that i wrote on Friendster's Bulletin Board... It was a reaction to something that i read in someone's profile. I call it 'A Spider's Web'.

Oh yeah, and by the way, its not meant to slag anybody, its just what i was thinking at the time... ;)

A Spider's Web

I used to remember, the times when we were
ourselves.
Being with one another made all of us happy,
content.
We hid behind no stones, we adopted no false
guises.
We didn't pretend to be something else just to get
accepted.
Each of us were accepted as ourselves, with no
equivocations.
Tell me what went wrong and what made us
change.
Are we any better when we become someone
else?

Through a veil that we can see through, yet
unassailable.
We weave our deceits as a spider weaves its
web.
We build a pattern of images which hides our
trueselves.
We show the world everything except for our
reality,

Fantasy becomes a reflection of our everyday

existence.

The attainment of physical perfection an

obsession,

Spiritual and mental adherence a fatal weighted

anchor.

To whatever we do, we attach an image that most

pleases,

Never realising that everything has its own

individuality.

Awaken, understand the trap we find ourselves

in.

Realise that one day, everything would be

revealed.

The fakeness that you bask in will be stripped

away.

Revealing the flaws that you desperately try to

hide.

Be content with the attributes God has presented

you.

And live your life knowing that perfection is not to

be willingly given, attained or strived for.

It is earned.

Will post more a bit later, i need to get my head on straight =p

Later.

2004-09-24T01:53:00.001+01:00

Check out what my friends at Marcus Grove found. Looks like the Royal Wedding of the Crown Prince even got into a popular French magazine. It WAS a fantastic wedding, so i'm not really surprised the whole world sat up and took notice. But seeing this makes me feel warm all over. Other people DO know we exist, after all. It gets tiring after answering at least a dozen FAQs like 'Where is this Brunei?' and 'Is it in the Middle East?' and whatnot. Cool eh? Sure made my day =)
Posted by Hello

Paradigm shifts.

2004-09-24T01:53:00.000+01:00

Listening to Ruffedge feat. Flop Poppy - Aura

Nice beat to it, very catchy. Kudos to Ruffedge for doing a collabo(ration) with such a cool band like Flop Poppy. Don't you guys think Andy from Flop Poppy has an extremely cool voice? I wish i could sing like that... =p

Alright, stop that.

I have a cold all day, my temperature will be going into orbit if it gets any higher and my throat feels like its been worked over with sandpaper. Not to mention my head's been spinning like its Michael Jackson on Ecstacy.

All that, and still i manage to register for second year. Which says a lot for second chance's initiatives... =p

I've been thinking quite a lot lately, and now i realise my life's taking a turn for the better. I do think God has shown me the way and He has given me the means to reach my goals. I now have something to work for (my Missy =) and i've been given a second chance at uni which i'll not waste. During the past year i've been through a whole load of things which forced me to grow up, to wake up and realise the consequences for my actions. They made me think of the road that i'm on, and the choices i have to make to survive.

In scientific terms, its called a 'paradigm shift'. Its when the process of human existence stops and moves in another direction due to an occurence which could either better or worsen human existence as we know it. Discovery of electricity forced a huge paradigm shift, quantum mechanics a lesser shift. But one of the biggest paradigm shifts that most of them bigwigs agree on is the advent of computers, which is pretty obvious.

Well, i think i had a paradigm shift. The whole of the last uni year was a shift for me. It kicked me into a different heading, hopefully for the better. I wouldn't say i grew up much, i still enjoy doing the things i did as a psychotic, rebellious 16 year old with a mean streak (but not too often though... i am getting older =p), but i did some thinking for myself.

I guess realising that you have to grow up is that first, tentative step towards maturity.

I could say i don't want to be responsible, i don't want to grow up and be all boring and serious. But its different now. I realise that. I'm different now. I wouldn't admit that i'm mature now, only that i'm that bit more wiser than before. I know i got a good deal going, and to waste everything now would just be plain stupid.

I have a family which loves me, friends who'll catch me whenever i fall and B.I.A.s that i could rely on in anything. I'm pursuing a career which i know will provide a good future for me both financially and spiritually and i am secure in the knowledge that i can get through this with everything i have within me, plus that bit of luck going for me.

But the most important thing of all (you knew this was coming, right? ;) i have someone whom i know loves me with all her heart, and whom i love with all that i am. There's not enough words that have passed in this world; not even the words of poets and scholars could match the colours, emotions and aura that her love invokes within me.

'Cause i love her with all my being (and i will never get tired of saying that, either.).

''I've dropped a tear into the ocean. When somebody finds it, then i'll stop loving you.''

I'm out.

2004-09-22T15:18:00.000+01:00

Swans. Bless. Its views like these that melts the icicles in the valves of my heart =P
Posted by Hello

2004-09-22T15:14:00.000+01:00

All of us are on a journey, going somewhere that none of us know exactly where yet. Tell ya what though, i hate the waiting bit. You'd think that an 'enforced journey' like the one all of us are on, it'll have better service and information. But noo.. We're left wandering in the great unknown, blind and in the dark with only a white cane to help us get through.
Posted by Hello

Randomly generated post.

2004-09-22T14:27:00.000+01:00

Listening to Chingy - Right Thurr (Remix)

'I like the way you that right thurr...'
'Swing the hips when yur walkin' let down yur hurr...'

Wanna know why i love this song? It has a goofy beat, AND i love the 'thurr' bit. Its like ragging on all those people who murders their 'R's in daily speech with outrageous slang... Remember the Hari Raya phone commercial girl in Brunei? Ha.

Anyway.

I passed. I'm going to second year. Woohoo! *jumps up and down all over again* =D I'm so pleased with myself =p Too bad i have a massive fever running (i'm falling over at the keyboard as i'm typing this) and i don't exactly feel even 50%. If i was i'd probably go out and buy myself something. But, as it is, i bought myself some cough medicine and something to help me sleep. I think my asthma's acting up *groan* Its the weather i tell you.

Here's a bit of something.

'definition of LIAR in love: your lover is a LIAR, forewarns that your disagreeable disposition will turn VALUED friendships AWAY.'

A B.I.A. of mine had that as his MSN handle. When pursued, he wouldn't offer any points of clearance. Well, i think its quite easy to ascertain the problem, given the high degree of elaboration he gave to the definition of a LIAR IN LOVE. I'm not gonna elaborate anything else here, 'cause i do think he said it all, if you give it some hard thought.

Anybody have differing views?

Well, i'm gonna go find some pics to post into this here blog... I'm running out of words. My brain's getting clogged up with mucus, i think. So methinks i'm gonna go plumb all that stuff out, gotta get ready for second year =D

Later then, people.

Indifferent.

Woof.

A little something something...

And They Say...

Lost : 1 Identity.

Tired and Retarded.

Fun in the Sun

Remember the tune?

Thankfulness.

Just on a whim...

Quickly, now.

The Keys to Your Heart

Remember, RIGHT shoulder.

The story of Missy and SeVenStaRs.

Maybe later.

Again, for Random Reader.

In response to... hoohaa & Random Reader

Trimmed, Condensed, Revised, Whatever you want to call it.

In response to JustSaying

Of gadgets, tournaments and dumb little officiating girls.

Trashtalk.

Let's get everything started.

I hate fevers.

This is a rant. Read and be offended, or be in agreement. YOUR choice.

Someday.

To someone special, my *156* =)

A promise.

A Post-Birthday post.

Songs & my hatred of Ex-es.

Replies.

Comments, anyone? =)

Me against the Muse.

The ramblings of a very TIRED man whose body refuses to sleep.

Illuminate.

The Downloadables.

Iris.

Just because.

One more thing...

Understand me(n).

Singles?

Sayang ;)

A quick post... with pictures.

Simon Cowell.

Solve a riddle, get a prize.

Tired & Spent part 3

Space.

Some things.

The ego has landed.

The 'them'.

The oyster, the clam or the pearl?

Cats. Gotta love 'em.

Early morning, when i wake up.

Questionnairez.

A post for the birds.

A special Hari Raya [Eid] post.

Its the little things...

Layout

Cooking blues.

A letter devoted to my 156 =)

Tired & Spent part 3

Self discipline?

Of Dreams, Family and My Idol =)

For the boss =)

Back with something weird.

Stop!

Real love?

Tired and Spent part 2.

By the way...

Balancing act

My band which remains nameless... =p

Books & movies.

Verses.

Paradigm shifts.

Randomly generated post.

To someone special, my 156 =)